Hi all!

It’s a pretty solid week, even as all the winter shows head toward finales. We have a few premieres, but April is really when things are going to go nuts. Still, you have a lot to watch and I don’t want to hear any complaints. Everybody have fun!

Here’s what to watch on TV this week!




9-10 I Am the Night – Watts explodes into racial violence and Jay ends up in a cell with a bunch of rioters. I am several weeks behind on this show and it makes me feel inadequate.


10:30-11 Jon Glaser Loves Gear – Jon tries to turn his obsessive gear-hoarding into a newly-created activity – Gearing! I have to say, that’s the logical next step for him. After that, he has to change his name to, say, “Gear Glaser” or “Jon Gearser”.




8-10 MasterChef Celebrity Showdown – This is listed as a new episode, but everybody they list as a participant was on an episode two years ago. That said, it might be a bad description so it’s better not to risk it and set the DVR.


9-10 This Is Us – Kevin keeps a secret and in the past, the Big Three graduate from high school. We’ve talked about how I don’t like that “Big Three” stuff, right? Also, now that Pen15 is a hit, they should just use the same actors for the flashback scenes. (Don’t even get me started on how that show killed any chance that Jon Hodgman’s Only Child pilot will ever get made.)


10-10:30 At Home with Amy Sedaris – Amy realizes that he biggest fan might pose a threat to her. Is somebody going to Single White Female Amy? And if so, will it be the best idea ever?


10-10:30 Drunk History – It’s the return of “Drunk Mystery”, including the story of “Colonial gossip columnist James Callender”. I did not know he was a gossip columnist and so I’m guaranteed to learn something this week. I am genuinely looking forward to that!

10:30-11 Corporate – Everyone competes for the most heartfelt social media post after a national tragedy. This will be tasteful!


10:30-11 Miracle Workers – Craig helps God recruit a prophet and Sanjay gets involved with the plan to save Earth.




8-9 Survivor – Teamwork is the key to success in an all-new immunity challenge. You mean a challenge in which they compete as a team? Good job, listing writers!


8-10 Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back – SEASON FINALE! Two episodes back to back can only possibly emphasize how formulaic every episode is and I guarantee I will still get emotionally involved with both. And did you see a couple of weeks ago when they saw through Gordon’s disguise and most of the staff was super worried but the owner was acting like he was clearly there to present his “Best Restaurant Ever” award.


10-11 Whiskey Cavalier – Hey, I really liked the first episode! I’m going to keep watching this and enjoying myself. This week, the team heads to Prague where Will has to seduce a grieving widow. Hey guys? Scott Foley is like three years older than me and looks a million times better. I’m learning to live with that.


10-10:30 I’m Sorry – Andrea’s neighbor begins renting his house out on Airbnb and she has to avoid a confrontation with the renters. I have a friend who’s obsessed with Andrea’s clothes. There’s not really a payoff to that story.


10-11 Deadly Class – A gang war brews during a lockdown. The same gang war that’s been brewing since the first episode, probably. I can follow plots!


11-11:30 Documentary Now! – Cate Blanchett stars in a parody of The Artist is Present and it’s always great when they feature somebody outside of their usual realm. This show is very good!




8-9 GothamGordon is shot during an attempt to establish a cease-fire and finds himself on Trial. Meanwhile, Ivy returns and Lee has a life-changing moment. Plus other stuff that they’re not going to tell us in the listing. It’s not like last week they said “Hey, the Ventriloquist is going to be on the show and it’s going to be amazing.” Also, that absolutely was amazing.


8:30-9 A.P. Bio – SEASON PREMIERE! Without an archrival, Jack sets his sight on writing the best philosophy book ever. The first season was very good and I’m really looking forward to this.

9-9:30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine – Jake helps Amy navigate her relationship with her brother. And said brother will be played by none other than celebrity B99 and McElroy fan Lin-Manuel Miranda. Woo! What are the chances he can sneak a “Great Job” horn into the episode? I mean, Zouks managed to pull of a “Heynong Man”…


8-9 Top Chef – The Final Four chefs must cook with the world’s smelliest fruit, the fartblossom. That is almost definitely not the real name, but it would make for a funnier episode.


10-10:30 Better Things – Oh, FX is on their game with the vague listings. “Sam copes with stuff”. That’s amazing.


10:30-11 The Other Two – Brooke learns that it’s hard to date with a famous brother and Cary angles for a part in the new Ryan Murphy miniseries. Man, I love the running joke about all the weird stuff in Justin Theroux’s mansion, and I hope this is leading up to a season finale guest appearance.



Hey, Captain Marvel opens today! Go see that!


After Life – Ricky Gervais stars in this show about a man who decides to “punish the world” by doing and saying whatever he wants. That sounds not at all self-indulgent and will definitely not turn into yet another tract on atheism. Man, I find the best way to enjoy Ricky Gervais is to pretend he retired immediately after the Liam Neeson episode of Life’s Too Short.


Doom Patrol – Yes, this is my favorite new show. This week, the Doom Patrol fights a doomsday cult and Grant Morrison’s fake John Constantine appears. It will be good!




11:30-1 am Saturday Night Live – Idris Elba hosts! I love that guy! I would like an episode full of sketches based on The Wire and Luther and I just realized that Chris Redd would be very funny as Omar so maybe this is a good idea actually.




8-8:30 The Simpsons – Lisa tries to fix her parents’ strained relationship, and I feel like Homer and Marge having problems is becoming a more frequent story point. My theory is that they’ve had the same writing staff for long enough that they’ve all been married for a while and their first story idea is marriages that have lost their luster.

8:30-9 Bob’s Burgers – The family forces Bob to take a day off which ends up with him working at a sandwich shop. Is this the secret origin for Jon Benjamin’s Arby’s ads?


10-11 Good Girls – The women are pressured to solve a problem with a potential witness. Man, the mob is outsourcing more and more work to them. Christina Hendricks is going to be running the place by Season Three!


8-9 American Gods – SEASON PREMIERE! After two years off, two changes in showrunners, several cast changes, and budget problems galore, it’s back! I’m still going to watch because it’s Ian McShane, but virtually everything else I like about the show got shown the door.


9-10:10 The Case Against Adnan Syed – SERIES PREMIERE! This docuseries brings us further information on the case from the first season of Serial. True crime stuff is increasingly hard for me to take these days, but I’m probably going to end up watching this.


9-10 The Walking Dead – Daryl mounts a rescue mission that forces Alpha to retaliate and I still hate the people who dress like zombies.


“If I had a gun, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.” — Michael Scott


“When you look at someone with rose-colored glasses, all the red flags just look like… flags.” — Wanda Pierce

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