This week we’ve got a bunch of season finales, the debut of The Punisher on Netflix, and the return of Search Party. It’s a solid week right before the holiday season, which is where we traditionally watch TV just gradually give up for a month or so. And then we’re alone with our thoughts. Our dark, dark thoughts.
Also, this is the week that the Justice League movie opens and despite it being a Batman related thing and despite my love of the League in general, I’m not going to see it. Batman v. Superman made me legitimately depressed and I can’t do that to myself again. Sometimes you’ve got to tap out, you know? Still love you guys, but your movie looks bad. I just got a rad hardcover of early Seventies Justice League comics, and I’ll read that instead.
Here’s what to watch on TV this week!
8-10 Dancing with the Stars – In the semifinals, each couple performs a regular dance and a reinterpretation of an iconic dance from the past. I think they’ve done that specific setup in the past, but it’s a neat idea. And you know if Nick hadn’t been eliminated, they’d have made him do Drew’s Season One freestyle.
9-10 The Gifted – Jace approves a new surveillance program and Thunderbird helps Blink open up about her past. She’s really blocked out that time she spent as a reporter in Gotham City, I guess.
9-10 This Is Us – Kevin goes back to his high school to accept an award, possibly for “Most Out of Nowhere Season Two Vicodin Addiction”.
9:30-10 Brooklyn Nine-Nine – The Vulture returns! The one from this show, I mean. Not the Spider-Man villain. Also, Boyle and Rosa have to find a missing police horse. This show is a treasure.
10-10:30 Teachers – The teachers prepare for standardized testing. That makes the second standardized test episode I’ve seen in a month and it’s stressing me out. Those bubbles have to be filled in completely.
10:30-11 At Home with Amy Sedaris – No information available, but the title is “Grieving”. So apparently Amy has helpful hints to deal with grief! Also? Last week Chris Elliott played her rich uncle. He was so rich he had two monocles, and that’s one of the greatest jokes in history.
Future Man – SERIES PREMIERE! This comedy focuses on a janitor who travels through time to save humanity. It comes from Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg who are good at making stuff. Also? This sounds like it’s kind of inspired by Booster Gold, right? Just the part about being a janitor who travels through time. And kind of the saving humanity part.
8-9 Survivor – A player finds a secret advantage with a special twist. I like the way they thrown in these different items that people can’t anticipate, but this season has had more power-ups than the Mario franchise.
8-8:30 The Goldbergs – Uncle Marvin becomes a stockbroker which leads me to believe they’re doing a Wall Street parody for their Thanksgiving episode. Sadly, I can’t remember anything about Wall Street.
9-9:30 Modern Family – It’s a Thanksgiving episode! Jay gives a toast! Phil tries to learn a magic trick! You could tell me I’ve seen this listing six times already, and I would believe you.
10-11 Stan Against Evil – Two episodes! Evie gets an antique ring and then starts dreaming murder dreams. Then Denise gets a nanny job for a demon baby. Hee! So, last week during the show, both Janet Varney and John C. McGinley responded to me on Twitter. Which is rad. But, who would have expected that John C. McGinley is on Twitter? Also, he signs his Tweets with his initials at the bottom which is kind of hilarious.
10-11:15 You’re the Worst – SEASON FINALE! A whole mess of relationship problems end with Jimmy and Gretchen going on a long drive. I was going to tell a story from my past, but it reflects poorly on somebody who will never read this and probably hasn’t thought about me in ten years.
8-9 Gotham – Sofia and Penguin plan a fundraiser for the orphanage and Professor Pyg continues to torment the city. I believe this will be the episode with Pyg’s musical number so it’s probably going to be my favorite thing all year.
9-10:30 Project Runway – SEASON FINALE! It’s New York Fashion Week and the winner is chosen. Probably Brandon because the judges refuse to address the fact that he makes the same top every freaking time.
10-10:45 Better Things – SEASON FINALE! Sam and her family are tilted. I don’t know what that means. Is that an expression people use? We may never know. But this has been a fantastic season and it’s a show that I want to talk about more but I’m not sure I have the right vocabulary for it.
10-11 Jeff Ross Roasts the Border – Jeff Ross tackles immigration and performs on the US / Mexico border. These specials have been really good and surprisingly sensitively handled – this should be worth checking out.
8-9 Hell’s Kitchen – The chefs are tasked with re-creating Gordon Ramsay’s signature dishes. Presumably, the men’s team will not only fail to do so, but they will somehow accidentally drown on dry land.
8-9 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – “Rebecca tries to come to grips with her new life”, is what the listing says, glossing over the suicide attempt. Man, I’m really struggling with how I feel about this show – they’re trying to be really honest about mental illness but also exploit it for the very format of the show. I can see how they’re doing something that might help people, but I’m so uncomfortable with it.
Marvel’s The Punisher – The newest Marvel series features Frank Castle and his one-man war on crime. I think they handled the Punisher really well in Season Two of Daredevil, but let’s be honest, in 2017 it’s very hard to sell an angry white guy committing gun murders as a protagonist. This is a night of TV shows that make me uneasy!
8-9:30 Night of Too Many Stars – The annual Jon Stewart-hosted benefit for autism research moves to HBO from Comedy Central this year. It’s usually very good and features a lot of silliness, so you should watch it. Plus, we all miss Jon, right?
11:30-1 am Saturday Night Live – Chance the Rapper hosts. I don’t know much about him but people speak highly of him and a lot of comedy folks seem to like him a lot.
7:30-8 Bob’s Burgers – Thanksgiving episode! This show does the best holiday episodes and this year, Teddy’s family comes to visit. I can’t picture Teddy’s family as anything other than exact duplicates of Teddy.
8-8:30 The Simpsons – Homer reunites the Pin Pals to cheer up Moe. Man, if this trend of returning to classic episodes continues, I have to think we’re going to get a Hank Scorpio comeback at some point.
8:30-9 Ghosted – Two smug actors stumble upon paranormal activity so Max and Leroy have to save them. Wouldn’t that be a fun guest appearance for Adam Scott’s pal Paul Rudd? Let’s make that happen!
9:30-10 The Last Man on Earth – Tandy goes to great lengths to convince everyone he’s a feminist and Todd tries to be a father figure to Jasper. Todd? Buddy? Make sure that this father-son time doesn’t include playing with a Rubik’s Cube. I’m already a nervous wreck.
9-10:15 The Walking Dead – This week promises a close look at Negan and the Saviors and I think that’s what we’ve all been longing to see, right? That again.
10:15-11:15 Talking Dead – Guests discuss the new episode. This week’s guests: Abnegazar, Rath, and Ghast. (Panel subject to change because I just now made them up.)
10-10:30 Curb Your Enthusiasm – Larry realizes that tips are better than favors and receives gratitude in the buffet line. It’s super hard to picture Larry David at a buffet, isn’t it?
10-11 Search Party – SEASON PREMIERE! One of last year’s best comedies returns for a second season. Last year, it was about solving a mystery that didn’t exist. This year it’s about covering up the guy they killed in the course of solving that non-mystery. It was self defense and probably justifiable, but it looks like a lot of bad decisions are getting made this year.
“Letting go is not in my DNA. However, there is a little Irish, a little German, left-handedness, and early onset dementia. There’s also a little Irish and a little German.” – Angie Tribeca
“I want to go back to being weird. I like being weird. Weird is all I’ve got. That and my sweet style.” – Maurice Moss