Kind of a light week this time out as we wait for November Sweeps to begin in earnest. Stan Against Evil is back, though, and that’s good news for all of us. And now I’m doped up on cough medicine, so I’m in no shape to talk about Red Dead Redemption 2. I know you’re disappointed.
Here’s what to watch on TV this week!
8-10 Dancing with the Stars – It’s Halloween! The dances will be terrifying! Every year I hope for “Werewolves of London” or “Poor Edward” which is not a traditional Halloween song, but it’s about a guy with a second face on the back of his head. “It was his devil twin / and at night she spoke to him. / Things only heard in hell.” That’s a scary song!
8-9 The Gifted – I guess this could potentially be pre-empted for baseball. There’s no way for me to know. If not, Polaris and Andy will be sent to retrieve a powerful mutant. Andy needs to step up his name game.
9-10 This Is Us – Randall makes time for Kevin, who obsesses about Jack’s past. Is “Kevin” code for “this show”?
10-11:30 Mayans M.C. – The Galindo family decides to cut their losses. Man, every episode of this show is so long. It’s competing with The Romanoffs to be the longest TV show in the world.
10:30-11 The Guest Book – Hey, they’re bringing back one of the first season’s guests! Neat! I have also not watched the season premiere yet. I’m doing a bad job.
8-9 Survivor – Cancel the rest of the season, because it’s not going to get better than the jacket argument. I don’t even care who wins. I’m going to take all that jacket talk with me straight to next season.
8-8:30 The Goldbergs – Murray becomes a stage parent when Adam isn’t interested in a production of Fiddler on the Roof. If I knew more songs, I could do a joke here. But all I can think of is “If I Were a Rich Man” and that doesn’t apply.
9-9:30 Modern Family – Phil tries to convince a student not to drop his class. I feel like Phil would be a fun teacher but it would be unacceptable to have to pay for his class. Nine hundred dollars a semester and you don’t learn anything? Not OK, man.
9:30-10 Single Parents – This show is weirdly obsessed with getting America to think of Brad Garrett as a sexual being. It makes me uncomfortable.
10-10:30 It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia – We learn what happened when everybody but Charlie went to the Super Bowl. Um, I mean, the Big Game. Which is what everybody in real life calls it as well as on any TV channels that are not the one licensed to air the… Big Game.
10-11 Stan Against Evil – SEASON PREMIERE! One of my favorites is back with two new episodes! First, after Stan screws up the timeline, he has to get Evie out of a psychiatric hospital. Second, a couple of familiar paranormal investigators show up to investigate the Black Hat Society. This show is great and I’m very excited. Also, IFC sent me a couple of plastic masks in the mail – one of Stan himself and one of Murgatroyd the pig demon from Season One. Did anybody send you a John C. McGinley mask? I didn’t think so.
8:30-9 The Good Place – Eleanor makes a startling discovery, Tahani tries to make amends, and Janet does some bonding. As of this week, my friends will finish Season One of this show and I can be slightly less vague. But only slightly.
9-10 Hell’s Kitchen – Each team has to cook halibut seven different ways. Somebody’s going to make a “just for the halibut” joke, right? They seem like people who would do that.
9-10 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – Rebecca reunites with her half-brother and learns they have many things in common. Like half their source DNA, for one.
The Other Side of the Wind / They’ll Love Me When I’m Dead – This is going to be confusing. The Other Side of the Wind is a feature film that Orson Welles never completed. But now, the original production manager has secured the rights to edit and score it and it’s going to see the release. Then They’ll Love Me When I’m Dead is a documentary about the last years of Welles’ life and the making of Other Side of the Wind. It’s a fascinating double bill and I’m interested to see how any of it works.
11:30-1 am Saturday Night Live – Jonah Hill hosts! I hope he does that weirdly precocious little kid character again. That was a funny bit. There is also a musical guest, but I’m going to end up fast forwarding them.
8-8:30 The Simpsons – A self-driving car company comes to Springfield and poaches the power plant employees. Lenny and Carl have a lot of good ideas about the future of transportation!
8:30-9 Bob’s Burgers – I’m just going to quote the official listing and let you luxuriate in it. It’s that beautiful. “The kids learn the dangers of revenge when their plan to get back at the school guidance counselor gets them entangled in a deep-rooted sibling rivalry between two pilots.”
8-9:10 Doctor Who – No information available, but the title is “The Tsuranga Conundrum”, which sounds like one of those fake Ludlum episode titles from Venture Bros. this season. Wait, is the Doctor going to meet Doc Venture and Billy Quizboy when they use Grover Cleveland’s Presidential Time Machine? It’s the crossover only I want!
9-10:08 The Walking Dead – Rick is forced to face the past, and it’s possible this is the episode where he dies / leaves. I swear I saw a promo this week that declared “Rick’s Final Two Episodes”, which is as anticlimatic as anything.
9-10:10 The Deuce – Competing investors are interested in Candy’s Little Red Riding Hood porno. That whole plotline basically feels like they’re trying to bring in Andy Daly as Don DiMello. Because that show would be perfect for a late performance at the Pasadena Fairy Tale Theater. Man, I am just bursting with crossovers today.
10:10-10:40 Camping – A lot of people have been busting on this show because everybody is unlikable, but I’m here to tell you that they’re gloriously unlikable. Jennifer Garner in particular reminds me of somebody I know and I’m not going to name names or even allude because this will be the one time that people I know actually read the site. But trust me.
“It’s a sad world we live in when Sam Malone has become the voice of reason.” — Sam Malone
“I can’t have people sneaking in here, leaking dooky water on my rugs. That’s unacceptable.” — Torpedo Vegas