Hi all!

It’s Easter Week, which in terms of TV is not really a thing. I didn’t even spot a stray showing of It’s the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown. But Amazing Race returns and the penultimate episode of Gotham wraps up the current storyline and this is all very exciting for me. You can support me in this or you can get out of the way.

Here’s what to watch on TV this week!

 

MONDAY

AMC

10-11 Into the BadlandsSunny discovers an important figure from his past and presumably they fight. I mean, I hope. It’s not like you go into this show hoping people don’t fight.

 

TUESDAY

FOX

8-9 MasterChef Junior – The kids make chicken outside. I like how chicken isn’t an interesting enough challenge so they have to be all like, “Um, maybe they do it outside? Next to trees?”

ABC

9:30-10 Bless This Mess – SERIES PREMIERE! Lake Bell and Dax Shepard star in this comedy about a couple who leaves the big city for Nebraska. The ads are pretty good but the title is terrible. Thanks for the quick take, EJ!

TRUTV

10-10:30 At Home with Amy Sedaris – Amy hosts a traditional Thanksgiving dinner until a flock of turkeys seek revenge. I kind of hope they just have regular turkeys walking around and everybody acts scared.

FX

10-11 Fosse/Verdon – No information available, but the first episode was quite good. Michelle Williams is awesome, and I feel bad because I never recognize her when I see her. I can’t keep her image in my head for some reason.

TBS

10:30-11 The Last O.G. – Shay reconnects with her old skate crew. Is that a thing? Maybe she was in roller derby! Which means I can remind everybody that there used to be a local derby skater who used the name “Noam Stompsky”.

 

WEDNESDAY

CBS

8-9 Survivor – This episode listing boasts “Two tribal councils in one hour”, which feels like a weird brag. Unless everybody is so tired of WarDog that this is CBS’s way of promising they’re trying to get rid of him as quickly as possible.

9-10 Amazing Race – SEASON PREMIERE! This season, the pairs are made up of past Survivor and Big Brother contestants and that should be very fun. Especially the Janelle / Brittney team. I’m rooting for them so hard that you’d think they were cutting me in on the prize.

ABC

10-11 Whiskey Cavalier – So this isn’t the main plot, but per the listing, there’s a subplot about a Secret Santa gift exchange, which has me wondering when they thought this was going to be airing. For some reason, I have no trouble accepting when a cable show does a Christmas episode in April, but it seems like the weirdest thing in the world when a network show does it.

SYFY
10-11 Happy! – Sax and Happy enter a geriatric death trap. I mean, Happy’s probably safe since nobody can see or hear him. Actually, Sax is probably safe since we’re only halfway through the season and also his whole thing is just taking comedic amounts of physical abuse and surviving.

FX

10-10:30 What We Do in the Shadows – The vampires venture into Manhattan to make an alliance with the king of the Manhattan vampires. This show is very good and I’m going to keep reminding you.

IFC

10-10:30 Brockmire – Brockmire gets a case of the yips and prays for the first time. It actually specifies that he “prays to God” for the first time, which leaves you wondering what he’s been praying to before now.

 

THURSDAY

FOX

8-9 Gotham – This is the penultimate episode of the series and the final chapter of “No Man’s Land”, which means we get the rad flashfoward scene from the premiere and more to wrap up than they could possibly handle in an hour. It’s Gordon, Bullock, Penguin, and Riddler, vs. Bane and the military. I don’t know what I’ll be once this show ends.

NBC

8:30-9 A.P. Bio – Jack’s high school bully is hired as a motivational speaker and the teachers drive a rift between Helen and Durbin. Why must teachers destroy everything that’s good and pure? It’s what they’re known for as an occupation!

9-9:30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine – Holt and Jake investigate a case at Kevin’s university. Oh, sounds like we’re going to get a Marc Evan Jackson episode! Meanwhile, Terry and Amy take the squad out for lunch, and if you’ve heard the Doughboys episode with B99 creator Dan Goor, you know what a contentious issue lunch is in the writers’ room. This one might be drawn from real life.

9:30-10 Abby’s – Abby and Beth encourage Fred to start dating when they find out he has a crush on a bar patron. Is this a good time to bring up that, this calendar year, three women I don’t know have bought me drinks? And it’s not like I got better looking – I’m aging like I drank from the wrong grail so at any given moment, I look the worst I’ve ever looked until the next moment.

FX

10-10:30 Better Things – In an Easter episode, Sam helps Max and bakes for Phil. I was going to mention how this is the third misplaced holiday episode this week, but it actually is Easter.

 

SUNDAY

NBC

10-11 Good Girls – Beth and Ruby’s friendship fractures and Nancy needs Annie’s help and man, Annie’s help has not really done anybody any good since the beginning of this show. Annie helps you and best case scenario, you lose your house.

AMC / BBC AMERICA

8-9 Killing Eve – Eve makes a dangerous deal with an old acquaintance and Villanelle is surprised by a figure from her past. People from the past are no good! This is the lesson I learned from TV!

HBO

9-10 Game of Thrones – Guys? The listing for this episode is just the boilerplate series description, so please enjoy how HBO would like to sell you on the show as a whole. And yes, there are inaccuracies. “The depiction of two powerful families – kings and queens, knights and renegades, liars and honest men – playing a deadly game of control of the Seven Kingdoms of Westeros, and to sit atop the Iron Throne.”

10-10:30 Barry – Barry’s patience is put to the test when a figure from Sally’s past arrives. Remember what I was saying about the past? You probably shouldn’t, since that was in the past and that place is nothing but trouble.

10:30-11 Veep – Selina heads to South Carolina for an endorsement, which I assume will be from Stephen Colbert. Also, Gary gets a long awaited promotion and I thought he already had his dream job.

 

“There’s something missing, something wrong… it’s like a pretty girl with short hair.” — Hank Hill

 

“I must be in Horseville since I’m surrounded by naysayers. Wordplay!” — Tracy Jordan

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