Hi all!

I haven’t done a schedule in a couple of weeks. Part of that has been lack of content and part of that is I’ve been too sad. And with everything happening in the world, I don’t know that this is an appropriate time for me to be making jokes about Ultimate Tag when there are more valuable voices to listen to. I’ve also been dealing with whether my attachment to pop culture is healthy or not and also trying to figure out how to feel about the fact that people will probably die because Warner Bros. doesn’t want to delay the release of Tenet. There’s a lot going on here and I’m not sure what my place is right now. But I’m going to try a schedule just to see how it feels. This is very heavy for an intro where I usually talk about what video game I’ve been playing.

Here’s what to watch on TV this week!

MONDAY

NBC

8-9 Titan Games – Since we’re not getting American Ninja Warrior for a while, this competition that frequently involves sledgehammers is a pretty good alternative. I can’t get past how the commentators call The Rock “DJ”, though. He has a name, and it is The Rock.

 

Since it’s another short schedule and to commemorate the release of Season Two of Doom Patrol this week, each day I’m going to pick a Doom Patrol character I want to see turn up on the TV show. This content is very niche.

 

Today’s DP Pick – The Candlemaker. This is probably a given since Dorothy Spinner is on the show now. In fact, I’d bet on seeing him turn up for the season finale.

 

TUESDAY

NETFLIX

Eric Andre: Legalize Everything – It’s a stand-up special from Andre, who I find fascinating as a personality even though I’m largely unfamiliar with his stand-up. I have no idea if this will actually be him telling jokes or if it’s a weird performance art piece.

 

Today’s DP Pick – Ambush Bug. I’m not sure what you do with him after Mr. Nobody did all the fourth-wall breaking last season but Ambush Bug’s chaotic neutral presence would be a welcome addition. I love that guy.

 

WEDNESDAY

FOX

9-10 Ultimate Tag – This show is genuinely bad but fascinatingly dumb. I like especially that they stress how big and strong the Taggers are even though all they do is touch you while running. Muscles aren’t the key here.

ABC

10-11 Marvel’s Agents of SHIELD – The Zephyr lurches forward in time and holy smokes, this final season is what the show should have been all along.

TRUTV

10-10:30 At Home with Amy Sedaris – Amy prepares for a date with a man she’s been corresponding with. I don’t have any jokes, but this show is very funny and good.

 

Today’s DP Pick – The Quiz. I might bring up more members of the Brotherhood of Dada later, but she’s the best one because she has every power you haven’t thought of. It’s a good bit.

 

THURSDAY

ABC

8-9 Holey Moley – Now this show is just the right kind of stupid. Especially this season where they occasionally light miniature golfers on fire.

9-10 Don’t – I also like this Adam Scott-hosted game show that is as clever as it is dumb, which is almost a Spinal Tap line.

DC UNIVERSE / HBO MAX

Doom Patrol – SEASON PREMIERE! One of my favorite shows of last year based on one of my favorite comics ever returns! And now it’s on HBO Max as well as its original home. Three episodes hit today, already setting me back on recapping, and we pick up with everybody but Larry reduced to a tiny size. The trailer is great, I love the Doom Patrol, and this will be good.

HBO MAX

Search Party – SEASON PREMIERE! The overlooked TBS series moves to the new streaming service for a third season and this is another of my favorites. It’s the only thing about millennials that I understand.

 

Today’s DP Pick – Mallah and the Brain. One’s a revolutionary talking socialist gorilla. One’s a brain in a jar. They’re in love. They were referenced in Season One, but it’s time for the real thing!

 

FRIDAY

NETFLIX

Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire Saga – Will Ferrell and Rachel McAdams play an Icelandic pop duo in this original comedy based on the absolutely bonkers international song competition. I don’t know how they can out-weird the actual thing, but I’m psyched.

 

Today’s DP Pick – Thayer Jost and the corporate Doom Patrol. I’m not sure how these characters would work on the show, but I love them and there’s definitely something there. A tech billionaire who wants his own superhero team and is willing to infringe on the Chief’s IP? On second thought, I will write that episode for free.

 

SUNDAY

HBO

9-10 Perry Mason – I’m watching the first episode as I write this and it is one hundred percent up my alley. I’m as surprised as anybody.

10-11 I’ll Be Gone in the Dark – SEASON PREMIERE! This true crime story is based on Michelle McNamara’s book that led to the arrest of the Golden State Killer. I have no jokes about that.

 

Today’s DP Pick – Wallace Sage. The psychic child who accidentally created Flex Mentallo. I can’t decide if I want TV Flex to have that same origin, but the idea of a superhero who forgot his magic word is so good and I’d like to see that come up in some form.

 

“It’s funny. The day you lose someone isn’t the worst. At least you’ve got something to do. It’s all the days they stay dead.” — The Doctor

 

“Who am I kidding, I can’t hurt my son. Johnny, hurt my son.” — Bo Crowder

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