The fall season rolls on and we’ve got a bunch of premieres including The Gifted, FOX’s new X-Men tie-in. There’s a lot to watch and you’re going to have to start canceling plans. Or not make them in the first place, like me. Not that I should be your bellwether here.
Here’s what to watch on TV this week!
8-10 Dancing with the Stars – It’s Guilty Pleasures Night! Is somebody going to do a Welcome Back Kotter dance? And how sad is it that this is my go-to for guilty pleasures?
8:30-9 9JLK – SERIES PREMIERE! This show seems to have a very good cast but does not look good – it’s been pegged by many critics as the likely first cancellation of the year. But then I heard an interview with the showrunners where they seemed very nice and now I feel bad for them. Still not watching it, you understand.
9-10 The Gifted – SERIES PREMIERE! This is sort of an X-Men show with young mutants on the run and at least a couple of recognizable mutant characters. Including two who appeared in Days of Future Past and should not be born yet. Unless it’s not set in movie continuity. Point is, this could be fun. I’m more excited that the Burn Notice guy is the showrunner because I’m in the mood for some superpowered capers.
9-10 This Is Us – The entire Pearson family goes to Los Angeles for a taping of The Manny. It’s a travel episode! I bet they’re going to solve a mystery or uncover a magical artifact!
9:30-10 Brooklyn Nine-Nine – Jake tries to investigate a prison gang and a local mobster things he can prove Hawkins’ guilt. Is it bad that I want Tim Meadows’ cannibal (sorry, woodworker) character to keep showing up once the jail arc is over?
9:30-10 The Mayor – SERIES PREMIERE! This new sitcom is about an aspiring hip-hop artist who runs for Mayor as a publicity stunt and then wins. It actually looks pretty funny and Yvette Nicole Brown plays his mom and I always support my Community buddies.
10-11 Kevin (Probably) Saves the World – SERIES PREMIERE! This show changed its title and one of the two leads since I reviewed the trailer. Basically, Jason Ritter learns he’s a potentially special person who has to “power up” his soul through acts of kindness and he has a guardian angel. Also, it’s sort of a comedy. This is supposed to be quite good, so check it out! Or don’t. If you’re actually going to take orders from me, I’ll save it for something important.
8-9 Survivor – There’s romance budding for a pair on the Healers tribe. “Romance budding”. Yeah, I typed that and was OK with it. Leave me be.
8-8:30 The Goldbergs – Adam decides to make a movie about his grandfather but learns his war stories aren’t that interesting. Adam, hear those stories while you can! They may not be exciting, but you’ll be glad you did. Now I’m lecturing. Guys, this might be a bad schedule this week and I can’t figure out how to turn it around.
9-9:30 Modern Family – Manny works to avoid a tearful goodbye after moving into his dorm. It’s pretty amazing that none of the kids from the show have really gotten in trouble, isn’t it? That many young people, you’d think one of them would crash a car or something.
10-10:30 You’re the Worst – Edgar takes Jimmy on a man date. Guys, it’s way funnier to call it a “boy date”. “Man date” sounds like “mandate”…. look, I’m just backseat driving here. I’ll let you get back to it.
8-9 Gotham – Gordon travels to Miami to persuade Carmine Falcone to help against Penguin. I hope the Miami scenes look exactly like Burn Notice. And that’s your second Burn Notice reference this week. This schedule is falling apart so fast.
8-8:30 Superstore – The employees hold a memorial service for Brett and since I haven’t seen much of this show, I assume that he was played by Brett Gelman. Yes, I mentally fill him in for every character named Brett.
8:30-9 The Good Place – The group decides to approach things differently and the status quo of this show changes yet again. Man, that episode last week – that’s the best anybody’s going to do on a network comedy all year. That was some good TV.
9-9:30 Will & Grace – Show of hands – that premiere was tough to watch, right? The original hasn’t aged super well and there wasn’t any attempt to update it stylistically, so when you surround it with these fresh and innovative shows it’s… jarring.
9:30-10 Great News – This show is really hitting its 30 Rock-style stride and Tina Fey showing up to play Jack Donaghy only helps. This week, Carol tries to push Greg and Katie together, which I assume she will do with a light touch. Right?
9-10:30 Project Runway – This opens with the resolution to last week’s twin vs. twin cliffhanger. Whoever loses, we win. It’s a reverse AvP situation. Also, there are accusations of cheating, and I have to assume that will be against the surviving twin and maybe we get rid of both in one episode.
10-10:30 Nathan for You – Nathan teams up with a struggling taxi driver to take down Uber. I can’t stop thinking about that guy from last week who said Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist is his favorite movie.
10-10:30 Better Things – Sam is sick. I think that may be the shortest official episode listing I’ve ever seen. They kept it to under ten letters!
10-11 Ghost Wars – SERIES PREMIERE! This show about a remote Alaskan town overrun by the paranormal stars Vincent D’onofrio and Meat Loaf. I assure you, I did not make this up.
8-9 Hell’s Kitchen – OK, the best thing about the premiere was whenever somebody from more than, say, three seasons ago would show up to join the teams and nobody remembered them. The institutional memory for this show is not the same as for, say, Big Brother.
9-10 Marvel’s Inhumans – Well, at least its better than Iron Fist.
9-10:15 Halt and Catch Fire – Gordon and Donna fight, Joe helps Haley recover a keepsake, and Bos makes his famous chili. Just one more way in which Bos is basically Green Arrow.
11:30-1 am Saturday Night Live – Gal Gadot hosts! She’s super charming and she’s been kind of funny in her talk show appearances so she could be good.
8-8:30 The Simpsons – Marge and Lisa turn Lisa’s experiences into a ‘pop culture hit’, and I have no idea what a pop culture hit is. Am I a pop culture hit?
8:30-9 Ghosted – It is hard to write second episode listings before the first episode airs. I’m going to take a knee on this one.
9:30-10 The Last Man on Earth – Tandy tries to escape from Pamela and the rest of the gang meets another survivor. Will this be a new cast member or somebody who dies horribly?
9-10 The Deuce – Bobby tries to change Vincent’s mind, Darlene brings in a new girl, and Candy contemplates a change in careers. Chase that thread, Candy.
10-10:35 Curb Your Enthusiasm – Larry reaches out to a familiar face and tries to create a diversion. I am so excited to have more Curb in my life. This show has a special place in my heart.
10:35-11:05 Vice Principals – A death in Russell’s family forces Gamby to serve as acting principal and I have to assume he will turn the school into a police state immediately.
9-10 Fear the Walking Dead – Once again, the brief listing is completely different from the expanded listing. Like, the phrase from the short version doesn’t even appear in the long version. What game is this show playing?
10-11 Talking Dead – OK, I can turn this schedule around at the last second with a really funny panel. Here we go: Guests discuss the new episode. This week’s panel: Benji, Zax, and the Alien Prince. (Panel subject to change because I just now made them up.) Did that do it?
“I will not phone it in. I’ll be the first one here at 10:30 AM and the last one to leave a smidge after four.” — Erlich Bachman
“You’re searching for perfection, and perfection is the image of perfectly adequate.” — Jimmy McGill