Hi all!

It’s Thanksgiving week and there is hardly anything on TV. The schedule is so short that I have to talk about movies at the end just to fill it out. Hopefully you have fun plans. Or barring that, maybe you’d like to join me in Cranksgiving. This is, of course, the event where I watch both Crank and Crank 2 on Thanksgiving Day. It’s a holiday that I’ve been celebrating for years and it hasn’t really gained any traction, but maybe this will be my year.

Here’s what to watch on TV this week!

MONDAY

ABC

8-10 Dancing with the Stars – SEASON FINALE! Considering how long it took to get rid of Sean Spicer and then the very next week spunkyfave James Van Der Beek was eliminated, this all feels a little anticlimactic. Also, I don’t really see a clear favorite here and I think the winner will come down to who does the best freestyle.

 

TUESDAY

NETFLIX

Mike Birbiglia: The New One – Hey, a new special from Birbiglia! That’s always a fine evening of comedy. And after that, maybe check out his movie Don’t Think Twice, which I really enjoy.

 

WEDNESDAY

CBS

8-9 Survivor – No information available! Come on, man. There’s like nothing on TV this week and one of the few shows with a new episode is blank.

NBC

9-11 Saturday Night Live – It’s a collection of Thanksgiving sketches – it looks like the same one that aired last year, but come on. What else are you watching tonight?

 

THURSDAY

Happy Thanksgiving! TV tonight is just a disaster!

 

FRIDAY

DISNEY+

The Mandalorian – This’ll be four episodes and maybe we’ll get to see a woman who has both a speaking role and a face. The odds are against us, but keep your fingers crossed!

DC UNIVERSE

Harley Quinn – SEASON PREMIERE! An animated series about the popular character starts this week. My interest in Harley as a character is virtually zero these days, but I’ve heard this is good. But people also said Titans would be good and that’s hot garbage. Look, there’s not much this week and so I don’t have a lot to talk about.

 

SUNDAY

FOX

8-8:30 The Simpsons – Todd Flanders blames God for the death of his mother so Ned sends him to live with the Simpsons. That actually sounds really good. I mean, it comes like two decades after Maude’s death, but I’m into this plot.

9-9:30 Bob’s Burgers – Linda bargains with a director to get Gene a role in a community theater production. Don’t give him a taste of the spotlight, Linda! He’ll go mad with power!

HBO

9-10 Watchmen – Angela undergoes unconventional treatment under Lady Trieu’s care and Adrian Veidt delivers a defense of his past actions. I feel like even acknowledging his past actions creates the possibility for massive civil unrest. Man, they could almost do a whole series about what happens when the guy who lied to everybody to save the world loses his mind. There’s a lot happening here!

10-10:30 Silicon ValleyA major event tests PiperNet’s capabilities and everybody will continue to ignore that Dinesh is now built like somebody who should be bullying the entire cast.

10:30-11 Mrs. Fletcher – Eve is distracted by a series of flirtatious texts. I wish somebody would send me flirtatious texts. I’m so very lonely.

 

Well, that was a ridiculously short schedule, so to make up for it here are my short thoughts on all the movies I’ve seen over the last month, ranked from worst to first.

 

Terminator: Dark Fate – Mackenzie Davis is awesome and there are some fun action scenes, but it’s dumb as dirt and actively unpleasant in a lot of ways. This is not a franchise that’s adding anything to the world at this point.

 

The Report – Actually quite good but not really entertaining. It’s such a literal take on the guy who compiled the report on torture and you’ll learn things but also, nothing interesting really happened to him along the way. There are no attempts to add drama. It’s just a guy compiling facts and arguing with people who try to stop him. Worth seeing but you’re not going to be riveted.

 

A Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood – The Mr. Rogers movie is more about a somewhat fictionalized magazine reporter writing about Rogers than it is about the live of the host. Which is a smart move since the story of a nice man who dealt with everything in his life in a healthy way isn’t a riveting biopic. It’s more interesting to see a man changed by being in Mr. Rogers’ orbit.

 

Ford vs. Ferrari – I could care less about racing but man, this movie was a blast. I keep forgetting how good Christian Bale is but he always impresses me. I had a lot of fun with this. Also, I learned something from this movie. Reverend Smith from Deadwood is in it, and I didn’t know that actor’s name was Ray McKinnon. Which means I didn’t know that he also created Rectify. So an amazing actor created another amazing show, which blows my mind. It’s like if Kim from Better Call Saul also created The Good Place.

 

Jojo Rabbit – This movie is incredible. Yes, it’s the movie where a boy’s imaginary friend is Hitler, but beyond the seeming shock value of that, it’s this really funny and poignant story about childhood and nationalism. Incredible performances all around, both from people you know and people you don’t.

 

“Hey, he’s not ‘the Mexican’. He’s Pablo. Pablo the Mexican.” — Ash Williams

 

“The words that they say sound passive but seem aggressive. I feel like there should be term for that, like…. nicey-meaney.” — Andy Dwyer

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