This week’s mood is pretty good. Not that things have gotten better, but I’m adjusting. At this point, the movie Bloodshot has been the most recent movie I’ve seen for longer than any other movie in my adult life. I’ve never gone two months without seeing a movie before! Will there be movies again? Also, and this could not be less important, but I’m wondering if they’ll do Big Brother this summer. I mean, if they test everybody, maybe they could still confine a bunch of people to a house. And it’ll be weird to watch people interact in person. This information is probably out there and I haven’t looked it up because if I find out they’re skipping this season, I think it’ll bum me out too much. It’s my summer tradition, you know?
There is not much on this week because the network schedule is wrapping up and there’s a real lack of completed seasons that are ready to go elsewhere. It’s maddening to know that there’s an almost complete season of Fargo out there, on hold.
Here’s what to watch on TV this week!
Stargirl – I’m already paying for the streaming service so I might as well check it out. Yet another series about a DC superhero, this time the titular Stargirl. Most of the live action DC stuff (aside from Doom Patrol and Gotham) hasn’t worked for me, and this looks a little too much like the stuff I haven’t liked. But Joel McHale is in it and some of the Justice Society appears, so I’ll check it out. Like I’m going to pass up an appearance by Wildcat, the superhero from the forties who dresses like a kittycat and is good at punching. For real, I love Wildcat.
9-10 Gordon Ramsay’s 24 Hours to Hell and Back – SEASON PREMIERE! Gordon revamps a gastropub! Two thoughts – it’s going to be a little bit of a bummer knowing that the places we see this season probably had to shut down almost immediately. But second, FOX is promoting this as “The Summer of Ramsay” because all three of this shows are going to be airing. The Summer of Ramsay is the best Summer of all. Second best. I don’t have to explain that to you.
Patton Oswalt: I Love Everything – Hey, a new special! You can always count on Patton for a good stand-up special. I think this is going to be a lot of material that he did when he was in Grand Rapids last year, and I enjoyed that thoroughly.
8-9 The Masked Singer – SEASON FINALE! This season has been going on forever and it happened so soon after the last season. I’m hoping it’s like two years before the next one. I need a dang break!
9-10 Ultimate Tag – SEASON PREMIERE! This is basically Tag meets American Gladiators. The promos for this show have been bonkers and I thought it was a joke for weeks and this has somehow shifted into me being deeply excited about it.
10-10:30 What We Do in the Shadows – The vampires offer shelter to an old nemesis who’s down on his luck. I suspect it’s going to be Nick Kroll, but that’s just because he’s their only nemesis who’s still alive. Or undead. You know what I mean.
10-10:30 At Home with Amy Sedaris – SEASON PREMIERE! We’re going to learn the fundamentals of babies! Amy seems like the responsible sort who can be trusted to convey that information, right?
8-9 Celebrity Escape Room – Courteney Cox, Ben Stiller, Lisa Kudrow, and Adam Scott have to complete an escape room hosted by Jack Black. I love escape rooms and celebrities, so I’m the target audience for this.
10-11 Holey Moley – SEASON PREMIERE! It’s the mini-golf / obstacle course show that is baffling produced by famous basketball man and guy who was nice to my sister Steph Curry. It’s actually quite fun to watch and I’m looking forward to it. Stop judging me.
The Lovebirds – This was going to be a theatrical release back when he had theaters. It’s a comedy about a couple (Kumail Nanjiani and Issa Rae) falsely implicated in a murder. This looks funny and I’m glad we get the chance to see it.
9-10 Killing Eve – No information available! So instead, let’s focus on BBC America’s schedule for tonight. On this network that is devoted to bringing us the best of British television, they are showing the movie Twister both before and after this show. Everything about that is weird.
9-10 I Know This Much is True – I’m enjoying this! HBO has been doing just fine in the book adaptation business. The Plot Against America, Mrs. Fletcher, Watchmen, The Leftovers – I’m on board for books turned into HBO shows.
10:30-11 Run – I am the only person watching this, right? I like it but I’ve seen no discussion of it. Somebody watch it so we can talk!
11:30-12 am Rick and Morty – Adult Swim’s schedule is currently blank, so I’m just assuming there’s a new episode. But sometimes cable channels don’t run new stuff on holiday weekends. HBO always used to take those weeks off. And TNT is putting Snowpiercer on hold for a week, which is a wild choice to make after only airing one episode. Maybe wait and premiere it after the holiday and let it run un-interrupted, right? Man, I don’t know anymore.
“Sweetie, I think this is stupid and a waste of everybody’s time. But you’re my girlfriend and I care about you so I’m here.” — BoJack Horseman
“In my opinion, smokers shouldn’t be treated as second-class citizens. If anything, they should be treated better than the rest of us because they’re going to die so young.” — Nathan Fielder