Hi all!

We’re in November, which means sweeps and it usually means more big TV events than we see this week. Frankly, TV and movies peaked pretty early this year and didn’t save enough big events for the later months. Maybe next time they’ll ask me before setting up a long-term plan.

Here’s what to watch on TV this week!

MONDAY

ABC

8-10 Dancing with the Stars – It’s Country Night, and you can imagine how excited about that I am. There are a lot of guest performers I’ve never heard of participating. My only hope is that there is a heavy concentration of songs from either 1990 or old enough to have been covered on the 1981 Alvin and the Chipmunks album, Urban Chipmunk. The latter is self-explanatory, I think. The former, well, that was the year I was fifteen and took driver’s training and so I spent a lot of time in the car with my mother, who always had the radio set to new country. So if somebody dances a Foxtrot to Pirates of the Mississippi’s hit “Feed Jake” where a man prays that, should he in fact die before he wakes, the Lord will take care of his dog. There is an exact level of drunk I can be where, to this day, that song will make me cry.

NBC

9-10 Manifest – After a couple of weeks off, we’re back and darned if I can remember anybody’s name. I mean, this listing says there’s a character named “Michaela” and I have no recollection of that. I’ve certainly never typed that name without adding “Watkins”.

 

TUESDAY

Most of the networks have Midterm Election coverage tonight, if you want to spend the night with a vague sense of terror.

FOX

8-9 The Gifted – Thunderbird trains Reed to control his powers. So the guy who has a power that doesn’t necessarily need to be controlled is an expert on the topic. This show, I swear.

FX

10-11:20 Mayans M.C. – The club has reason to celebrate, but big changes leave the future uncertain. Just like me! This show is relatable!

TBS

10:30-11 The Guest Book – So, I’m looking up episode listings on a website, and the one I’m using sometimes runs out of room mid-listing and does not have a link to read the full description. So this one mentions an “Uncle Bill from West” and it stops right there, so I can only assume that it was going on to say “Westworld” and Uncle Bill is the Cheat Code Cowboy.

 

WEDNESDAY

CBS

8-9 Survivor – It literally says “another castaway is voted out of the game”. Always playing with the formula, I see.

ABC

8-8:30 The Goldbergs – Beverly and Murray try to find a new hobby for Adam to get him out of action figures. Yeah, you wouldn’t want him to grow up and spend an upsetting amount of money on a 12 inch Batman: The Animated Series figure. Yeah, that guy would be a real loser.

9-9:30 Modern Family – Cam forgets the words to his favorite country song and so he gets a chicken. Look, none of this makes sense, but if it turns out his favorite country song is “Feed Jake”, we’re all going to lose our minds.

9:30-10 Single Parents – This episode features a character named “Dr. Biscuits” and that is amazing. Doesn’t that sound like a Tick character?

FXX

10-10:30 It’s Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaSEASON FINALE! Frank tries to recruit Mac for a Gay Pride float. I assume by next season, Glenn Howerton is going to be shooting his scenes on a green screen, just like Portia de Rossi in Season Five of Arrested Development.

IFC

10-11 Stan Against Evil – Kenny transforms into a caterpillar monster and then Stan befriends a laid back demon. Hee! I love this show. Also, the show or possibly the network sent me a couple of plastic masks – one of Stan and one of Murgatroyd the demon pig from Season One. They are great and I feel special.

 

THURSDAY

NBC

8:30-9 The Good Place – “Eleanor recalls some forgotten events from her past.” It’s like NBC knows my friends are a season behind and so they’re just staying vague to be nice.

 

FRIDAY

FOX

9-10 Hell’s Kitchen – Gordon introduces the chefs to Mr. Potato Head. I can’t get enough of reminding people that the original Mr. Potato Head was an actual potato and they just gave you the face pieces to jam into a household potato. And now try to picture something sadder than a child playing with a potato.

CW

9-10 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – Paula has to adjust to good and bad news from her eldest son and before last week, I don’t think I knew she had kids. Did they exist before last week? I suspect that they did not.

 

SATURDAY

NBC

11:30-1 am Saturday Night Live – Liev Schreiber hosts. He’s been good in the past, so I approve. Hey, let’s get the guy to promote season six of Ray Donovan.

 

SUNDAY

FOX

8-8:30 The Simpsons – Bart and Milhouse get Moe an mail order bride on the Dark Web. I genuinely don’t understand the concept of the Dark Web, so I hope this episode explains it to me.

8:30-9 Bob’s Burgers – Bob drives a professional quilter around town after she convinces him to join in a revenge plot. And I rarely comment on pun titles, but this one is called “Bobby Driver” and that made me laugh out loud.

BBC AMERICA

8-9:10 Doctor Who – The Doctor visits 1947 India to find chaos and a land haunted by demons. Both the literal kind and the metaphorical kind. And the literal ones will turn out to be aliens because this show always sci-fi’s the supernatural out of it.

AMC

9-10:20 The Walking Dead – Six years after Rick’s disappearance, a group of strangers tests Alexandria’s trust. They’re doing a six year time jump? Boy, they’d better wrap up some storylines in a hurry. If Negan is still hanging out in a jail cell while Maggie plots to kill him six years later, somebody is very bad at their job.

 

“Some might say her cries for help were a cry for help, but I think she was just being an attention hog.” — Luci

 

“I don’t drink hot liquids of any kind. That’s the Devil’s temperature!” — Kenneth Parcell

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