It’s kind of a light week until you get to Sunday and then Game of Thrones comes back and man, that’s all we’re going to be talking about for a while. I mean, until Avengers opens and then we’re going to be talking about two things.
Here’s what to watch on TV this week!
10-11 Into the Badlands – The Widow and Baron Chau finally face off. Man, how is it that this is the only thing I watch on Monday? Also, remember when I would try to include big shows that I don’t watch on the schedule? In my defense, I’ve done over 500 of these things and there is no way I can feign interest in American Idol ever again.
8-9 MasterChef Junior – The young chefs learn how to butcher a whole duck. I assume they don’t mean “butcher” in the sense of “kill” but in the sense of separating the various cuts of meat. Or maybe this show is taking a dark turn.
10-10:30 At Home with Amy Sedaris – NO INFORMATION AVAILABLE! It will be good and funny, though.
10-11:10 Fosse/Verdon – SERIES PREMIERE! Sam Rockwell and Michelle Phillips start in a miniseries about Bob Fosse and Gwen Verdon. And amazingly, it is not a Ryan Murphy production. (It’s from Lin-Manuel Miranda and the co-creator of The Americans.) I’m increasingly intrigued by the ads and I know very little about either of these people.
10:30-11 The Last O.G. – Tray gets a cafeteria job and is more determined than ever to make it as a chef. You know, last week’s episode was surprisingly moving. I keep being surprised that this show is not as wacky as I expect a Tracy Morgan-fronted project to be. We’ve all got some growing up to do.
8-9 Survivor – Castaways strategize until moments before the vote. As opposed to the typical strategy of doing all their strategizing in the morning and then just taking it easy for the rest of the day.
8-8:30 The Goldbergs – Erica tries out for Jeopardy and the episode title is “I Lost on Jeopardy” because you can count on this show for the Weird Al deep cut.
8:30-9 Schooled – A rogue DJ starts spreading rumors about the teachers. I don’t think of pirate radio as a real ’90s thing, but I wasn’t exactly cool back then.
9-9:30 Modern Family – Haley’s plan to elope starts to fall apart and Jay tried to befriend an Instagram celebrity. I feel like I’m said that a million times. Instagram celebrities are sort of a sitcom go-to now and it’s a thing I don’t understand in real life. Aren’t they mostly funny dogs?
9:30-10 Single Parents – Angie and Will start binge-watching together but then Will starts dating and wrecks their plans. I have been there, folks. Nobody is else willing to commit to dying alone!
10-11 Whiskey Cavalier – Will’s new girlfriend joins the team on a mission to recover plutonium. First off, not the same Will as the previous show. Second, I hope she’s in the espionage business and he’s not just like bringing a barista on this mission.
10-11 Happy! – A simple breaking and entering goes very wrong. Literally nothing on this show ever goes right, so this will not come as a surprise.
10-10:30 What We Do in the Shadows – The truce between vampires and werewolves is tested and Colin Robinson gets involved in a romance. Oh, I scarcely believe that’s possible. This is a very good show, by the way.
10-10:30 Brockmire – Brockmire struggles to accept that his friend is dating Jules. Or he could focus on the things that are good in his life, like that he’s hanging out with Tawny Newsome and Richard Kind. That’s pretty cool, right?
8:30-9 A.P. Bio – Durbin takes over school pictures when a photographer raises his rates and Jack’s war with a neighbor threatens to ruin a date with Lynette. I like this show a lot, and I feel like I should be open about the fact that the actress who plays Lynette is distractingly attractive, to the point where the show has to be extra funny when she’s not on screen.
9-9:30 Brooklyn Nine-Nine – Jake and Amy have to celebrate their anniversary while guarding a comatose hospital patient. That’s actually kind of adorable, right?
9:30-10 Abby’s – We learn a secret about Abby’s dating history and a liquor promoter visits the bar. In my head, Abby is the Green Flame from Powerless and this is just her secret identity. It’s the Extended Natalie Morales Cinematic Universe!
10-10:35 Better Things – There’s no information listed, but the title is “Toilet”. I can already tell this is going to be very relatable. Hey, you know who can’t get through the night without getting up to pee anymore? This guy. I’m so very old.
11:30-1 am Saturday Night Live – Emma Stone hosts! She’s reliable. She’s got that Sandra Bullock career where she can be in bad stuff and nobody really blames her. It’s a good position to be in.
10-11 Good Girls – Beth is forced to take her kids on an assignment and Ruby crosses a line. This show is weirdly honest about the impossibility of sustaining a middle class lifestyle and I wouldn’t have expected that from a network show.
AMC / BBC AMERICA
8-9 Killing Eve – Eve meets her new team and briefs them on the Villanelle case. Maybe she should lead with “She killed my old team one by one”.
9-10 Game of Thrones – SEASON PREMIERE! Believe it or not, there’s no information listed but it’s not like that matters at this point. We’re already in!
10-10:30 Barry – Gene tasks Barry with revisiting his past, which is a terrible idea. Also, Barry offers to train NoHo Hank’s men. That’s probably also a terrible idea. Lot of bad ideas this season!
10:30-11 Veep – Jonah makes some ill-considered comments and Selina prepares for a debate. I hope Andy Daly sticks around all season, by the way. I love him and his blank geniality is something this show was missing.
“I’m a superhero. I’m nigh-invulnerable. I have the reflexes of an Olympic-level jungle cat. I have the strength of ten, perhaps twenty men. A crowded bus stop of men.” — The Tick
“Let’s not make baseball any more important than it really is. It’s just a diversion that keeps us from pondering our own personal hells. So what do you say, folks? How about we kill another three hours on our slow and painful march to the grave?” — Jim Brockmire