Happy New Year! I’m writing this after 1 AM, so let’s keep it short. It’s a bit of a light TV week, but we get some returns after the midseason break (The Good Place, FOX’s Sunday lineup) plus The X-Files is back. And we get some more Amazing Race. So there’s some good stuff to be found. I would say more except that I desperately want to get to bed.
Here’s what to watch on TV this week!
9-10 The Gifted – Tensions heat up and Reed rethinks his family’s future at the compound. Hey, maybe they should skip out so we can get an episode that’s not entirely about the Struckers once in a while.
The 2018 Rose Parade Hosted by Cord and Tish – Will Ferrell and Molly Shannon cover the Rose Parade in character as local TV hosts. This seems like a delight!
9-9:30 LA to Vegas – SERIES PREMIERE! This comedy about a domestic flight crew has a good cast and looks pretty funny. That said, I liked the trailer and since that came out I haven’t seen a single second of additional footage. Every TV spot is material from the trailer and that has me worried that there’s not a lot of material to choose from. So now I’m guardedly interested.
8-9 The X-Files – SEASON PREMIERE! The revival of the revival continues, picking up where the previous finale left off. You know, with an apparent alien invasion and the search for William. Once again, the premiere and finale will be serialized and in between are the one-off episodes. Don’t try to work out in what order things actually happen because that way lies madness. Will I be doing episode reviews again? Probably.
9-10 9-1-1 – SERIES PREMIERE! Ryan Murphy produces a show about first responders. It has a great cast, but Murphy’s name is enough to put me off completely, and I say this as a guy who was really into Nip/Tuck.
8-9 The Amazing Race – SEASON PREMIERE! The new season takes the teams to Iceland, and I have to deal with the fact that Jessica and Cody from last season of Big Brother are on this. Cody, as you may recall, is an emotionless murder robot and I’m a little worried about exposing other countries to him.
8-8:30 The Goldbergs – Beverly tries to bond with other moms and I believe one of them is supposed to be the real Adam Goldberg’s real mom.
9-9:30 Modern Family – The homeowners association denies Claire’s request to build a “She Shed”. I like that phrase and I look forward to repeating it to myself at inopportune moments.
8-10 The Four: Battle for Stardom – SERIES PREMIERE! It’s a singing competition that starts with four finalists who compete not to be replaced. It is not Gotham and it stands between me and the return of Gotham. As such, it is my enemy.
8:30-9 The Good Place – Michael receives a surprise visitor, who I assume will be Judge Shawn since that’s what happened before the break. Also, Eleanor and the others attempt to solve a riddle and I don’t want to say Jason will not be especially useful here, but come on.
9:30-10 Great News – Chuck finds himself an unwitting champion of the alt-right. Oh, I’m already delighted by this.
10-11 Top Chef – The chefs go camping and have to create a five-star meal outside. You know, The Great British Baking Show contestants make everything outside. Toughen up, chefs!
8-9 Child Support – SERIES PREMIERE! Well, it says here that Ricky Gervais created this game show for kids, but that can’t possibly be right. We all know that Ricky Gervais disappeared immediately after the Liam Neeson episode of Life’s Too Short and he certainly hasn’t worked on a host of unfunny and self-serving projects since then.
9-10 Marvel’s Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. – An unexpected friend attempts to rescue Daisy. Is it Black Bolt? Because I can’t imagine anything more unexpected than Marvel ever addressing that mess again.
8-9 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – “Darryl embraces a newfound superpower”. Ah, so they’re trying to boost the ratings by tying this show into the DC Universe. Too bad Victor Garber left Legends, because he would be into that.
8-9 Hell’s Kitchen – The chefs create three restaurant-quality pasta dishes with $20. That seems like a king’s ransom to me, because I eat garbage.
8-8:30 The Simpsons – “The Simpsons go to a STEM conference.” Yeah, deal with that.
8:30-9 Ghosted – Max, Leroy, and Annie get lost in the woods while tracking a creature and Max’s survival skills are put to the test. I’d say those skills are, you know, minimal at best.
9:30-10 The Last Man on Earth – Tandy and Todd find a new survivor who’s been in a Mexican prison this whole time. I think we’ve got one of our “focus on a character we’ve never seen before” episodes!
8-11 The Golden Globes – Seth Meyers hosts this year, and he should be good. What would also be good is if Alison Brie wins that Best Actress trophy for GLOW. Any chance we can make that happen, foreign press?
“I hope you’re all happy, keeping Alan off the team. Couldn’t you, for once, open your minds and hearts and hear something that he couldn’t see? I, for one, am glad that Alan is blind so he can’t see what, I’m sad you say, you can’t hear.” — Jerri Blank
“I fought an eight-year-old and the only reason I won is he tripped onto a spike. I had my eyes closed the whole time until I heard an eight-year-old dying on a spike.” — Billy Quizboy