Hi all!

I am off for most of the week, so I’m really kinda checked out. The big TV news this week is the Disney+ launch. I have prepaid for a year and I’m not sure how to watch it. I assume there’s going to be an app? Hopefully? I don’t know, man.

Here’s what to watch on TV this week!

 

MONDAY

ABC

8-10 Dancing with the Stars – It’s a night devoted to Boy Bands and Girl Groups and the judges are increasingly angry that Sean Spicer is not being eliminated. It’s a real twist for somebody associated to Trump to win based on the popular vote, right?

HBO

9-10 His Dark Materials – I am having a hard time getting into this, despite the presence of an armored polar bear. I’m giving it another shot, but this might not be my thing.

 

TUESDAY

Today is the launch of Disney+, which debuts with a series of Forky shorts, a live action Lady and the Tramp, a High School Musical spinoff, a Christmas movie, and a series I’ll talk about in a bit. I don’t want to give money directly to an entertainment monolith, but between all the Star Wars and Marvel stuff, plus a complete library of The Simpsons, I can’t pass it up.

NBC

9-10 This Is Us – Rebecca is visited by Randall, Beth is troubled by a request, and Kevin has doubts about himself. He’s probably thinking about how he was the first live-action Green Arrow and maybe he’s even thinking about the canceled Aquaman spinoff that would have been called Mercy Reef. Instead of, you know, Aquaman.

DISNEY+

The Mandalorian – SERIES PREMIERE! This new series set in the Star Wars universe focuses on a guy in Boba Fett armor. For some reason, Werner Herzog is not only in the show but narrates the trailer. It all seems pretty awesome. And like most Hulu series, the Disney+ series will release new episodes weekly instead of all at once. So I have to remember another dang thing.

 

WEDNESDAY

Hey, as of today, I’ll be in Chicago for a mini-vacation! Going to not one, but two live podcast shows! It should be very fun and I’m also going to go to a spy-themed restaurant that has a cocktail called “The Sterling Archer” and I’m going to drink ten of those.

CBS

8-9 Survivor – No information available, but since the title is “We Made it to the Merge!”, I assume the tribes merge in this episode. I’ve been at this a while.

FOX

8-9 The Masked Singer – With guest host Triumph the Insult Comic Dog! That is an unexpected twist and I bet he’ll have some great vaccination zingers for Jenny McCarthy.

FXX

10-10:30 It’s Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaThere’s a suicide jumper on the roof of Paddy’s, which I’m quite certain is a one-story building. And as long as we’re wondering about that, let’s talk about Cheers. The door to the bar was below street level – we saw people coming down stairs numerous times to get into Cheers. But then there was a restaurant up the stairs in the back and people entering and leaving the restaurant would pass through the unaffiliated bar. Why didn’t the restaurant just have a door on the ground floor? Why did they make people go down a set of stairs, walk through a different business, and then go up another set of stairs?

 

THURSDAY

CBS

8:30-9 The Unicorn – Wade goes out of town (like me!) and then panics when he realizes he’s the sole caretaker of his kids (not at all like me!).

10-11 Evil – A woman confesses to murder during an exorcism. I was going to say we’ve never had this many exorcisms on weekly TV, but there was an Exorcist series a couple of years ago and that probably holds the title. If it doesn’t, they could be sued for false advertising.

NBC

9-9:30 The Good Place – The title is simply “The Funeral to End All Funerals”, which sounds more than a little foreboding, especially when you consider how last week ended. This show is a roller coaster!

FXX

10-10:30 Mr. Inbetween – “Enemies may come and go, but alas, so do friends.” There’s a death I think they’ve been foreshadowing all season, and it’s going to be rough if I’m right. Ray has been through a lot this season! Can’t he just chill for a week?

 

SATURDAY

NBC

11:30-1 am Saturday Night Live – Harry Styles hosts and I am only vaguely aware of who that is. I believe he was in Dunkirk, but I’m not sure which of the similar-looking dark haired young men he was.

 

SUNDAY

FOX

8-8:30 The Simpsons – The Simpsons accompany the Van Houtens on their annual trip to Costa Rica and Homer befriends Patty’s new girlfriend. I feel like the Van Houtens can’t afford vacations. Does Kirk even have a job anymore?

8:30-9 Bless the Harts – The Harts head to Myrtle Beach for a vacation they can’t afford. Man, they should maybe coordinate with The Simpsons to make sure they don’t do back-to-back “We can’t afford this trip” episodes.

9-9:30 Bob’s Burgers – Bob and Linda attend a loft party on a stormy night while the kids face the storm in an ice cream truck. If ever anything sounded like a Gene plan, this is it.

AMC

9-10 The Walking Dead – No information available! I bet it’s about the weirdos in zombie masks!

HBO

9-10 Watchmen – It’s the big Looking Glass episode! And it’s written by Carly Wray who is one of my favorite TV writers. Plus, the comic was very much interested in symmetry and so the exact midpoint of the season is about a guy with a reflective face. These guys get it.

10-10:30 Silicon ValleyThe guys deal with the stress of running an organization. So basically the thing the show has always been about. Come on, HBO. Help me bring this one home.

10:30-11 Mrs. Fletcher – There’s a wake, a date, and Parents’ Weekend and presumably they happen in three different locations. But I’m not here to tell anybody how to do their job.

ADULT SWIM

11:30-12 am Rick and Morty – “Everybody has one thing in common”. Is it that we all like to party? I bet that’s it.

 

“Maybe we should just pack it in. Go home and drink the kind of cocoa that’s wine.” — Linda Belcher

 

“Look, I don’t like the throw the word ‘butthead’ around often. If you call everyone a butthead, it kind of loses its impact. But I can say without hesitation that Tom is being a real dick.” — Leslie Knope

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