Hi all!

We’ve got a wild week. The season finale of Better Call Saul. Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner returns to series TV. HBO debuts a show where Jennifer Garner and David Tennant are a married couple. And we get the highly surprising return of Harvey Birdman, Attorney at Law. There are a bunch of other premieres too. It’s a big week.

I haven’t seen a movie in week, so there’s not much in my life to talk about. The last thing I saw was The Predator, and that was bad. There’s a good movie in there, but it’s covered up by extraneous characters, an overly complicated motivation for the simplest franchise in the world, and some deeply offensive ideas about autism. But it came out weeks ago and you’ve already decided not to see it, so never mind.

Here’s what to watch on TV this week! 

MONDAY

ABC

8-10 Dancing with the Stars – It’s Most Memorable Year night! Guys, do you remember last year when we learned that Frankie Muniz has memory problems so his most memorably year was literally that year? That kind of messed me up.

AMC

9-10:25 Better Call Saul – SEASON FINALE! Jimmy turns the page on his reputation and Mike is forced to make a difficult decision. I love when the AMC folks keep the listings so vague that I don’t have to worry about spoilees. I’ll write something this week or next once the season is over and that’s going to be full-spoilee, but as we know, my friends don’t read my website. Weirdly, they’re not friends with me on social media either. They might not know about computers. That’s probably it.

10:25-11:40 Lodge 49 – SEASON FINALE! Hey, this got picked up for another season! So when they tell us the Lodge’s fate hangs in limbo, we know it’s probably going to end up surviving or else they’ll need to change the title next year.

 

TUESDAY

NBC

9-10 This Is Us – The Pearsons rally around Kate as she undergoes a medical procedure. I don’t want to spoil anything, but this whole show is set in the same universe as the Matt Damon movie Downsizing and the medical procedure is shrinking her to three inches tall.

FOX

8-9 The Gifted – I talk a lot about this, but I am utterly fascinated with how this show approaches the X-Men. Like, they talk about Magneto all the time, but the timeline of the movies is so screwed up that it is unclear whether there is a team of X-Men in the present and whether this show will be retroactively added to the mainstream Marvel Universe. So people constantly say that they don’t know if the X-Men still exist. Also, and this is the problem with tying a franchise character to a specific year, Magneto is said to be Polaris’ father. But Magneto is a concentration camp survivor. So even as they let the young Michael Fassbender version closer and closer to the present, he still had to be nearly seventy when he fathered a child. Man, it’s going to be a bummer when the X-Men get folded into the Marvel movies and start making sense.

10-11:14 Mayan M.C. – Both sides of the border grapple with harsh realities. I am a couple of episodes behind, but it seems to me like this show could get very political. I don’t know if they have yet or if that’s even on the agenda, but man. That’s the show I’d like to see.

11:14-12:19 am Mr. InBetween – SEASON FINALE! Yes, this is the third week. You don’t need to double up on a show to run through the season as quickly as possible. Come on FX, you’re not IFC!

COMEDY CENTRAL

10:30-11 The Jim Jeffries Show – SEASON PREMIERE! A new season! I soured a little on this show when they didn’t do their research for a story on comics and brought in a ComicsGate trashbag dude as their interview and didn’t really get across that he’s part of a fringe group that gets very upset when comics aren’t about white men, and I think they presented him as being part of the mainstream rather than a hate group guy. Bad move!

 

WEDNESDAY

CBS

8-9 Survivor – A castaway calls a meeting to stop side conversations. Aww, this season has a Sam! (Sam from Big Brother 20. Not my friend Sam. Or my dog Sam.)

ABC

8-8:30 The Goldbergs – Erica gets a job at a karaoke bar. That doesn’t feel like something that was widespread in the eighties, but this show has actually depicted America’s Funniest Home Videos as a regular series, and that show premiered on January 14, 1990, the same day as The Simpsons. You have been cited for reckless chronal behavior, Goldbergs. That’s right, I’ve been a Time Cop all along.

9-9:30 Modern Family – Phil finds a new, hipper career. Is he going to sell fidget spinners? Those are still a thing, right? Guys, I’m so very old. I remember when the kids on this show were young!

9:30-10 Single Parents – Douglas and the twins are barely affected by the death of their guinea pig and I did not know there were twins on this show. It’s a good show, but I feel like if we saw 50% less of the kids, it’d be a must see.

THE CW

9-10 All-American – SERIES PREMIERE! Hey, this is a CW show that actually looks good! Think Friday Night Lights with more of a racial component plus a little bit of The O.C. I’m going to watch this!

FXX

10-10:30 It’s Always Sunny in PhiladelphiaMac uses the womens’ bathroom and Jimmy Buffett is in town. Presumably those two things are related?

COMEDY CENTRAL

10:30-11 BoJack Horseman – BoJack reconnects with a friend from his past. For those keeping track, this is the episode where I went from “Hey, this show is funny” to “This is really something special”.

 

THURSDAY

NBC

8:30-9 The Good PlaceA surprising announcement threatens to dissolve the group. Hey, another nice vague listing that I don’t have to edit on behalf of my friends who probably have fake names of Facebook so I don’t find them.

 

FRIDAY

FOX

9-10 Hell’s Kitchen – The teams serve a group of Marines in our annual tribute to the Armed Forces. I’m not saying don’t feed the military but this will be the 18th time I’ve seen this, you know? Actually even more when you consider that they usually do it on MasterChef, too. Just mix it up! Spend an episode telling us how great nurses are!

CW

9-10 Crazy Ex-Girlfriend – SEASON PREMIERE! In the final season premiere, Rebecca deals with the consequences of her guilty plea. Probably through the power of song.

HULU

Light as a Feather – I don’t know much about this series, but the promo claims that “a game of ‘Light as a Feather, Stiff as a Board’ goes terrifyingly wrong'” and that just sounds straight up goofy. Hulu stopped following me on Twitter, so now they have to deal with me admitting that some of their shows are bad.

AMAZON

The Romanoffs – SERIES PREMIERE! This semi-anthology comes from Mad Men creator Matthew Weiner and the idea is that every episode has at least one character who claims to be descended from the famous Russian family. And unlike most Amazon shows, this one will air weekly instead of hitting all at once. It looks good!

DC UNIVERSE

Titans – The first new show comes to the DC streaming service, and it looks very bad. However, I’m subscribing to this dumb service for the digital comics and it’s the only way to get the Justice League Unlimited figures so I’ll watch at least one episode to pretend I’m getting my money’s worth.

 

SATURDAY

NBC

11:30-1 am Saturday Night Live – Seth Meyers hosts! Usually when an SNL alumnus hosts, you know they’re going to be good in sketches. Only, man, we don’t really know if Seth is good in sketches. Maybe he’s just coming to do Weekend Update.

 

SUNDAY

FOX

8-8:30 The Simpsons – Citizens of Springfield recall their divine encounters. Boy, that sounds like a flashback episode, but there’s no way they’re doing that, are they? Especially not for the third episode of the season.

8:30-9 Bob’s Burgers – Bob and Linda get outsmarted by a dine-and-dasher. Meanwhile, the kids join a club for tween entrepreneurs and you know Gene is just expecting it to be Shark Tank.

THE CW

9-10 Charmed – SERIES PREMIERE! It’s a reboot of the show that isn’t old enough to warrant a reboot and isn’t recent enough to be fondly remembered by the CW’s target audience. We’ll get more of that later as they also reboot Roswell.

ABC

10-11 Sundays with Alec Baldwin – SERIES PREMIERE! Alec Baldwin is not a comedian and doesn’t really have experience doing interviews, so let’s give him a talk show. This is going to live or die on how engaging the guests are, so it’s good that they booked Robert DeNiro for the first one because that guy just comes alive on TV.

BBC AMERICA

8-9:10 Doctor Who – The Doctor and her friends try to survive in a hostile alien environment. That’s all the information I have, but it’ll probably be cool. (The season premiere hasn’t aired as I write this, so I don’t have more to say.)

AMC

9-10 The Walking Dead – Everybody works to build a bridge. Man, what if the bridge collapses and kills Rick in the second episode of the season? We know it’s happening so their only option is to try and surprise us.

HBO

9-10 The Deuce – I am appallingly behind on this show and don’t have anything to say. I’m bad at this!

10-10:30 Camping – SERIES PREMIERE! This show stars Jennifer Garner and David Tennant as a married couple. I assume it’s about the titular activity, but I also don’t care. ow would I not watch those two in

ADULT SWIM

12-12:30 am Harvey Birdman, Attorney General – Cool! This special picks up with the Harvey Birdman characters after Phil Ken Sebben is elected President and presumably makes Harvey the Attorney General. This sounds great. The original show remains a favorite and I feel like a rewatch is in order. The entire original cast is back, including Stephen Colbert, and just maybe somebody will get that thing Peter Potamus sent them.

 

“He was a great partner. Smart, loyal. Homophobic but not racist. In those days, that was pretty good.” — Raymond Holt

 

“Listen, whatever she’s paying you I’ll double it. Then divide it by ten.” — Louise Belcher

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