Hi all!

Welcome to the final schedule of 2019. It is a very short schedule, but both Spider-Man and Dracula appear here, which I think we can agree would be a pretty great crossover. I was going to say that hasn’t happened since Marvel Team-Up but then I looked it up and that series never did a Tomb of Dracula issue. That seems like an oversight and Marvel Comics in the 1970s really dropped the ball there. Oh, for a time machine.

Here’s what to watch on TV this week!




8-11 Spider-Man: Homecoming – Yeah, it’s another light schedule but there’s never a bad time to watch this. It’s the first of Tom Holland’s Spider-Man series and it’s really great. Have fun!


This is going to be another short schedule and I can’t think of any bonus tidbits to include. But all week we’ll be running my best TV shows of 2019 list and then the things I’m looking forward to in 2020. So if you like me listing things, this’ll be a good week to have the Internet.


It’s New Year’s Eve! Hopefully you’re doing something fun! Me, I’m weighing my options. By which I mean I’m wondering where to get pizza and what to watch on Netflix. The Witcher is kind of bad but I want to keep watching it….


Three of the four major networks have New Year’s programming. On NBC, you’ve got Carson Daly. On ABC, it’s Ryan Seacrest hosting the show still named for Dick Clark. And then it’s Steve Harvey over on FOX. So if you like dudes who are thoroughly mediocre, this is the night for you! CBS is showing repeats because they don’t wish to remind their elderly audience of the passage of time.




8-9 Flirty Dancing – The first episode hasn’t aired as I write this, but I’m still very into the idea of this combination dancing/dating show. I do not want to participate in such a venture, but I think it’ll be fun to watch.


8-9:30 Doctor Who – SEASON PREMIERE! One full year after the last episode, the new season begins with a New Year’s special. And it’s part one of a two-parter! Intelligence agents around the world are under attack, so MI6 turns to the Doctor. And the first question they’ll want to know is why UNIT hasn’t been mentioned since the Zygon two-parter. This seems like the story for them!


Messiah – This original movie stars Michelle Monaghan as a CIA agent investigating a cult leader and I’d maybe check that out but it’s produced by Mark Burnett who’s kind of a religious weirdo and I have my concerns.

Spinning Out – Have you heard anything about this series about competitive figure-skating? Me neither. January Jones is in it! That’s the total of the information I have uncovered!




9-10 Deputy – SERIES PREMIERE! This show stars Stephen Dorff as the new head of the LA County Sheriff’s Department. The trailer was not good and it doesn’t look very appealing. But it’s the first network pilot of 2020, so enjoy!




12-12:30 am Joe Pera Talks with You – Joe returns after a holiday break to take you to the grocery store and Dave Wojcek’s bachelor party. I can’t even imagine Joe at a bachelor party. But also, I assume that at this stage of my life, were I to wed, my bachelor party would be mostly board games. I bet Joe would enjoy that.




Dracula – Hey, this new series comes from the creators of Sherlock. Yeah, Doctor Who‘s Steven Moffat is back with a show about your favorite vampire. Well, definitely in the top five. This is going to be formatted like Sherlock with a three-episode season, but each episode is movie length. I honestly don’t care much about Dracula, but man, am I into Steven Moffat.




8-11 The 77th Annual Globe Awards – Ricky Gervais hosts! And he doesn’t care what you think! Which is good because I don’t think he’s done anything funny since the Liam Neeson episode of Life’s Too Short. But he’s still laughing at his own jokes and that’s what matters to him.


8-8:30 The Simpsons – Marge and Homer attend Artie Ziff’s wedding and realize his wife is a clone of Marge. Now, it says “clone” and I’m willing to bet there’s a 75% chance that they mean that literally.

8:30-9 Bless the Harts – Betty tries to expose the victim of a strangler as a liar. That seems like a good fight to pick.

9-9:30 Bob’s Burgers – Louise defends Gene after he’s kicked out of the Hi-Fi Emporium. We can agree he was probably creating some sort of disturbance, right? I love Gene, but I bet management made the right call.


“I wasn’t hurt that badly. The doctor said all me bleeding was internal – that’s where the blood is supposed to be!” — Jake Peralta


“I played with the colors and changed the lighting, but I could only make your kids so cute and no cuter.” — Moe Syzlak

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