View-Do List: Please Don’t Eat the Schedule (Mar 9-15)

By adminwp On March 9, 2009 · Leave a Comment · In View-Do Lists

Hey all! You guys, the schedule is really weird this week. For starters, there’s only one episode of Dancing with the Stars. Yeah, no elimination episode. Maybe that’s because two dancers are already out before the season even begins. And there’s no new Lost this week, probably because they intended to stretch out DwtS. So now they’re repeating last week’s episode. It’s very weird this week.

By the way, this week’s Lost report will feature the mini-episodes available to Sprint cell phone users during Season Three. Since Horace the mathematician appeared in several of these, they just may turn out to be important. Are they this year’s Orchid Orientation film? Let’s hope!

Here’s what you’ll be watching this week!

MONDAY

ABC

8-10 DANCING WITH THE STARS – Season Premiere! Another season full of fancy ladies, sequins, and effusive Italian proclamations. Can’t wait!

10-11 CASTLE – Series Premiere! OK, this is a show about a mystery novelist who helps the police solve crimes. More importantly, Stana Katic is in it. That alone has me watching.

NBC

Other Articles from EJ

Celebrity Apprentice Smackdown (Mar 9)

A Beautiful Gory Display: The Watchmen (Mar 6)

8-9 CHUCK – Chuck’s in lockdown while Sarah and Casey try to stop the man behind Fulcrum’s Intersect. That is not a sentence that makes sense to non-viewers, I’ll bet. But non-Chuck viewers are sad, sad people.

9-10 HEROES – Sylar finally reunites with his father, who it turns out is also a super-powered killer. True fact: The Sylar family crest is a severed head.

FOX

8-9 HOUSE – Dutch from The Shield appears as a patient who has to say whatever’s on his mind. So then, he’s playing Dutch from The Shield.9-10 24 – Well, that took a turn, didn’t it? The guide says that “The President is faced with a compounding foreign-policy dilemma.” That’s a rather flat way to refer to a terrorist attack inside the White House.

CBS

8-8:30 THE BIG BANG THEORY – The guys ride the same trains as Summer Glau. I feel like I should know who that is.

8:30-9 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER – Ted’s college girlfriend moves to New York, just in time to precipitate an unsolvable four show pileup in this time slot.

David Letterman: Russell Brand, Jack Hanna
Jay Leno: Elisabeth Hasselbeck, Demetri Martin, Rocco De Luca & The Burden
Late Late Show: Jason Segel, Dave Attell
Jimmy Fallon: Amanda Peet, Rose Byrne, Joshua Topolsky
Last Call: Daniel Suarez, Jeff Dunham, Razorlight
Daily Show: Nathaniel Frank
Colbert Report: TBA
Jimmy Kimmel: The Jonas Brothers, Jimmie Johnson, Darius Rucker (R 2/23/09)
The View: Miley Cyrus, Jimmy Kimmel
Regis and Kelly: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson
Ellen DeGeneres: Paris Hilton
Tavis Smiley: Neko Case
Chelsea Lately: John Caparulo, Tony Rock, Whitney Cummings
George Stroumboulopoulos: Scott Kesterson, Natalie Brown
Bonnie Hunt: Shemar Moore, Jason Mesnick and Molly Malaney
Mike and Juliet: Bryan d’Arcy James, Arden Myrin, Shape magazine’s Cynthia Sass, Jack Hanna

TUESDAY

FOX

8-10 AMERICAN IDOL – It is now, officially, time to vote! I’m voting for the blind guy, just to keep Seacrest off his game.

NBC

8-10 THE BIGGEST LOSER – There’s a 24-hour fitness relay. That seems kind of long, doesn’t it? Like, you can’t have a relay that necessitates taking a break for a good night’s sleep.

8-9 REAPER – Sam wants to find out how Alan got of his deal with the devil, and a demon takes an interest in Ben. By the way, last week’s cattle prod fight? Awesome.

David Letterman: Stupid Pet Tricks, Paul Rudd
Jay Leno: Whoopi Goldberg, Elle Fanning, Keyshia Cole
Late Late Show: Rosario Dawson, Gordon Ramsay
Jimmy Fallon: Emily Blunt, Michael Stipe, Pussycat Dolls
Last Call: Robin Thicke
Daily Show: Craig Mullaney
Jimmy Kimmel: Heidi Klum, Bryan Cranston, Chris Cornell
The View: Jay Leno, Carrie Ann Inaba, Bruno Tonioli, Len Goodman, Lady GaGa
Regis and Kelly: Marcia Cross, Whitney Port
Ellen DeGeneres: Carla Gugino, Sean “Diddy” Combs, Taylor Hicks
Tavis Smiley: Ian McShane, Thomas Ricks
Chelsea Lately: Khloe Kardashian, Jordan Rubin, Josh Wolf, Sarah Colonna (R 3/6/09)
George Stroumboulopoulos: Joe Schlesinger, Paul Rudd, Jason Segel
Bonnie Hunt: Sherri Shepherd, James Blake
Mike and Juliet: Scott Hamilton, zoologist Jeff Musial

WEDNESDAY

NBC

8-9 THE CHOPPING BLOCK – Series Premiere! A new cooking competition show, hosted by Marco Pierre White, the reclusive chef who serves as a mentor/friend/rival to Gordon Ramsay. “I didn’t make Gordon cry. I humiliated him and he chose to cry.”

FOX

9-10 AMERICAN IDOL – The first finalist is sent home – get your conspiracy theories ready!

ABC

10-11 LIFE ON MARS – Annie goes undercover when two stewardesses are killed. I can call them ‘stewardesses’ if it’s set in the 70’s, right?

COMEDY CENTRAL

10-10:30 SOUTH PARK – Season Premiere! Oh, let’s not even pretend. They’re not giving us any information.

10:30-11 IMPORTANT THINGS – Demetri explores safety. You know, it’s not really possible to make witty comments about this show’s listings.

David Letterman: Tom Brokaw, Razorlight
Jay Leno: Ellen Degeneres, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Raul Malo
Late Late Show: Tim Daly, Dr. Kara Cooney
Jimmy Fallon: Russell Brand, Kevin Rose & Alex Albrecht, the Virgins
Last Call: Patton Oswalt, M83
Daily Show: Paul Rudd
Jimmy Kimmel: Jaime Pressly, animal trainer Kirstin McMillan, the Pretenders
The View: Patrick Dempsey, Robert Iger
Regis and Kelly: David Boreanaz, Corbin Bleu
Ellen DeGeneres: Carol Burnett, Taylor Hicks
Tavis Smiley: Robert Gates
Chelsea Lately: Bridget Marquardt, Ross Mathews, Randy Sklar, Jason Sklar
George Stroumboulopoulos: Kat Von D, Alan Kearns
Bonnie Hunt: Garry Marshall, Nathan Fillion, Rocco DeLuca and the Burden

Mike and Juliet: Marcia Cross, Russell Brand, Billy Jeffrey, Chuck Nice, Patrick Meagher

“When I die, I want to be frozen. And if they have to freeze me in pieces, so be it. I will wake up stronger than ever, because I will have used that time to figure out exactly why I died, and what moves I could have used to defend myself better now that I know what hold he had me in.”

– Dwight Schrute

THURSDAY

NBC

9-9:30 THE OFFICE – Pam, Jim, and Andy all give Kevin differing advice on how to woo a woman. I would bet money that Andy actually uses the phrase “woo a woman”.

9:30-10 30 ROCK – Liz can’t get out of jury duty, even with the Princess Leia costume. Meanwhile, Jack gets absorbed in launching a new GE product – the Funcooker. Hee.

10-11 ER – Dr. Benton returns! Hey, that’s actually pretty cool. Remember how cranky he used to be? Man, I miss him.

CBS

8-9 SURVIVOR – I can’t top the official listing: “Overzealous castaway risks it all and pays with a tooth”.

FOX

9-10 HELL’S KITCHEN – The teams prepare food for a bar mitzvah. Maybe Gordon can pepper his abuse with some Yiddish this time.

ABC

9-10 GREY’S ANATOMY – Derek decides to quit after learning that more of his patients have died than survived. Well, if you use a long enough timeframe for your study, won’t that always be true?

David Letterman: Paul Teutul Sr., the Broadway cast of “West Side Story”
Jay Leno: Dwayne Johnson, Heather Headley
Late Late Show: Jim Parsons, Sara Bareilles
Jimmy Fallon: Tracy Morgan, Malin Akerman, Glen Hansard
Last Call: Ken Jeong, Delta Spirit
Daily Show: Tom Zoellner
Jimmy Kimmel: David Hasselhoff, Eliza Dushku, Pendulum
The View: Kyle MacLachlan, Doug Savant, Maurice Benard
Regis and Kelly: Paul Rudd
Ellen DeGeneres: Felicity Huffman, Rascal Flatts
Tavis Smiley: EPA Administrator Lisa Jackson, Noah Wyle
Chelsea Lately: Ally Sheedy, Natasha Leggero, Chris Franjola, Brad Wollack
George Stroumboulopoulos: John D. Roberts, Bif Naked
Bonnie Hunt: Jeffrey Dean Morgan, T.I., the latest team eliminated from “The Amazing Race”
Mike and Juliet: Corbin Bleu, Cheryl Forberg

FRIDAY

SCI-FI

10-11 BATTLESTAR GALACTICA – Two episodes left! I don’t know how they can answer all the questions in two episodes, unless those episodes are entirely given over to answering viewer mail.

David Letterman: Will Ferrell, Cursive
Jay Leno: Kara Dioguardi, Randy Travis
Late Late Show: Christina Ricci, Mike Birbiglia
Jimmy Fallon: Jarod Miller, Trace Adkins
Last Call: TBA
Jimmy Kimmel: Kristin Stewart, Dwayne Johnson, the Dream
The View: Sally Field, Calista Flockhart, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt
Regis and Kelly: Larry the Cable Guy, Kelly Clarkson
Ellen DeGeneres: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Elle Fanning
Tavis Smiley: Felicity Huffman, Tony Dungy
Chelsea Lately: Russell Brand, Josh Wolf, Donnell Rawlings, Justin Tranter
George Stroumboulopoulos: Howie Mandel, Rush (R)
Bonnie Hunt: Bryan Cranston, AnnaSophia Robb, Alexander Ludwig
Mike and Juliet: Jeff Foxworthy, Geraldo Rivera, Jeanine Pirro, Bethenny Frankel

SATURDAY

HBO

9-10:30 WILL FERRELL: YOU’RE WELCOME, AMERICA – Will’s one-man George W. Bush tribute show comes to HBO. It’s time to say farewell to ‘stategery’ in style.

NBC

11:30-1 am SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE – Tracy Morgan hosts! Yeah! Let’s hope Bryan Fellows shows up to teach us about animals.

SUNDAY

FOX

8-8:30 THE SIMPSONS – A convent takes Maggie in. Can they do that, just take a baby like that?

8:30-9 KING OF THE HILL – Peggy makes a new friend, who’s the coolest mom at Bobby’s cotillion class. Wait, what? Does Hank know about this cotillion? I doubt he’ll approve.

CBS

8-9 AMAZING RACE – I wish I’d been the one who thought of nicknaming Luke’s team, Team Mos Deaf, but I can’t take that credit.

NBC

8-10 KINGS – Series Premiere! It’s a modern-day retelling of the story of David, starring Ian McShane. Once you have that last part down, the first part doesn’t even matter.

10-11 CELEBRITY APPRENTICE – Each team must sell 125 wedding dresses. Oh, I’m already salivating at the easy Dennis Rodman joke for the recap…

AMC

10-11 BREAKING BAD – Man, if you’re not watching this, you are wrong. I don’t think I can stress this enough. By the way, I read an article that said the bad economy might cause more interest in this show. Uh, I know it’s tough out there, but the Walter White career path is not the way to go.

HBO

10-10:30 FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS – Bret enlists Jemaine and Dave as his wingmen. Well, sure. You’d want guys with a track record of proven success…

10:30-11 EASTBOUND & DOWN – Kenny gives up his comeback dreams, which took about five episodes longer than it took for the rest of us to come to that conclusion. Also, Will Ferrell returns. I so need for this show to have a long and healthy run.

CARTOON NETWORK

12:30-12:45 am TIM AND ERIC AWESOME SHOW, GREAT JOB – You know, at some point this went from being a sporadically funny show to the best sketch series since Mr. Show. Possibly, the “Jim and Derrick” episode marked the turning point. I don’t know, I’m not a doctor.

Ever yours,

Steve Brule