View-Do List – This Schedule for Rent (January 3 – 9)

Hi all!

Welcome to 2011!  2010 is off the books, and it’s time to start writing a different year on your checks, if people still wrote checks.  Which they don’t.  Man, remember checks?  No fooling, I bought something on Friday where they actually had to take an imprint of my credit card on one of those old-timey machines.  I didn’t know those things still existed.  Even better, the thing I was buying with a carbon copy receipt?  A bow tie.  Apparently modern technology is not allowed in places where you can buy outdated neckwear. 


There’s a lot coming our way in the next month or so.  We’ve got new seasons of Justified and Archer, the return of Parks and Recreation, the NBC season of Friday Night Lights, and more.  None of that is really happening this week, though.  However, this week brings us a special winter season of Wipeout.  I think we can agree that’s pretty awesome.  Also, on Sunday is the premiere of Bob’s Burgers.  It’s a new FOX animated series from Loren Bouchard, of Dr. Katz, Home Movies, and Lucy – Daughter of the Devil fame.  It stars the great H. Jon Benjamin and Flight of the Conchords supporting players Eugene Mirman and Kristen Schaal.  I honestly don’t care for the character design, but Bouchard’s work always ends up winning me over.  So be sure to check that out if you like good things. 

Here’s what you’ll be watching this week!

MONDAY

ABC

8-10 THE BACHELOR – Season Premiere!  Yep, that guy who decided not to pick anybody a couple of season ago is back as the Bachelor again.  It’s probably not a great programming strategy to build a second season around a dude nobody likes.  But, you know, it’s their money.  Plus, it should make for great Soup clips.

TNT

10-11 MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE – Joe gets some news about his former bookie and Owen makes a business decision without consulting his father.  I realize that doesn’t sound interesting, but I promise that it will be. 

IFC

11-11:30 THE LARRY SANDERS SHOW – Yeah, IFC is running Garry Shandling’s classic series.  Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday nights at 11.  Man, I love this show.  I will say, it appears that they’ve screwed up the running order already, but not too badly, and the first season is really light on continuity anyway.

TUESDAY

NBC

8-10 THE BIGGEST LOSER – Season Premiere!  It’s a couples edition, and I believe this is Jillian’s last season.  Well, she’s plenty busy having to star in all those sub-par Wii games, you know.

10-11 PARENTHOOD – The Bravermans are back!  Crosby had difficulties teaching Jabbar to pick up after himself, and who would have guessed that a guy who lives on a boat isn’t the best person to impart lessons of tidiness?

CBS

8-10 LIVE TO DANCE – Series Premiere!  This appears to be a So You Think You Can Dance knockoff fronted by Paula Abdul.  There is no chance I’ll watch this, so expect a season of me not having anything to say.

ABC

8-9 NO ORDINARY FAMILY – You know what?  Michael Chiklis and my love of superheroes are not enough to get me to keep watching this show.  I tried.  I really did.  I probably won’t even list it from here on out, because nobody else is watching this either.  (Sentence nobody has ever said out loud:  “Did you see the new No Ordinary Family?”)

9-10 V – Season Premiere!  It’s a big night for ABC genre shows that I gave up on, I’ll give them that much.

10-11 DETROIT 1-8-7 – The squad investigates the murder of a movie star who’s been filming in the city.  You know what’s cool?  That’s actually timely – we’ve had a lot of movies shooting in Michigan over the last couple of years thanks to some new incentives.  Never mind that other than Gran Torino, most of them have been terrible.  (Though the Aziz Ansari / Danny McBride movie that shot in Grand Rapids will probably be delightful.)  Seriously, 50 Cent has shot three movies in Grand Rapids in three years, and none of them have seen theatrical distribution.  I don’t even think there’s film in the cameras. 

DISCOVERY

9-10 DIRTY JOBS – Mike paves roads in Nebraska and we learn about his favorite animal.  I think it’s been established that Mike’s favorite is the pig.  That’s right, I’m actually going to start picking on an actual guy’s continuity.  New year, yo.

WEDNESDAY

FOX

8-10 HUMAN TARGET – They’re calling this a two-hour event, but it’s actually just two episodes back-to-back.  However, one of them guest-stars Tony (Buster Bluth) Hale as a private investigator.  Yeah, they’ve got me.

ABC

9-9:30 MODERN FAMILY – Phil deals with a difficult client and Jay teaches Manny to ride a bike.  It is impossible to have a Jay/Manny scene that is not an absolute delight, so I am very excited for this one.

9:30-10 COUGAR TOWN – Jules questions her relationship with Grayson and his tiny eyes, while Travis’ girlfriend throws Bobby off his golf game.  Here’s a sign that I’m watching too much TV – I’m currently watching two shows that have a running arc about somebody trying to make the pro golf circuit.

CBS

9-11 THE PEOPLE’S CHOICE AWARDS – The least relevant awards show of the year!  I mean, this is a show where Two and a Half Men occasionally wins awards!  For comedy!  The people make me sad sometimes.

BRAVO

10-11 TOP CHEF – This should be awesome, because the quickfire is a race against Tom Colicchio.  I don’t actually know if he’s known for being fast, but if he isn’t, that makes for a weird challenge.

IFC

10:30-11 THE BEN STILLER SHOW – Another addition to their repeat slate is the short-lived FOX sketch show that introduced Bob Odenkirk to David Cross and Ben Stiller and Judd Apatow to America.  This show actually holds up pretty well, even though almost every sketch is a parody of something that was happening in 1992.  I think they chose their targets pretty well, but it’s hard to imagine that it works for anybody who’s not between the ages of, say, 25 and 40.  Kids today don’t know what The Heights was, you know?

THURSDAY

ABC

8-9 WIPEOUT – Season Premiere!  So excited.  And here’s the great thing – even though the ads call it Winter Wipeout, they still list it on the schedule as just Wipeout, so there’s no reason to change your DVR.  I love when they enable my laziness.

9-10 GREY’S ANATOMY – A gunman opens fire at a local college.  You know, it seems like they may be going to the “crazed gunman shoots up a public place” a little too often.

FRIDAY

CARTOON NETWORK

7-7:30 YOUNG JUSTICE – The premiere movie was pretty bad, actually.  And now it’s taking Batman’s spot on the schedule.  I list it only because of my lifelong love of DC Comics.  I’ll probably give it a few episodes, but the fact that they gave obscure charactes some airtime doesn’t balance out the fact that everybody on this show is a jerk. 

IFC

11-11:35 MR.SHOW WITH BOB AND DAVID – And the third of IFC’s big additions is one of the greatest sketch shows ever.  Be sure you watch this episode, which includes the infamous “making change” sketch, as well as the first appearance of celebrity crook Ronnie Dobbs.  It’s awesome.

SATURDAY

NBC

11:30-1 am SATURDAY NIGHT LIVE – Jim Carrey hosts, and I think it’s bold that they’re spotlighting such a fresh voice in comedy.  So relevant!  Sorry.  This has been kind of a cranky schedule, but I’m kind of dreading this episode.  Jim Carrey’s broad, hammy approach is very early 90s, and his act hasn’t aged well.  I have my doubts as to whether it was funny the first time through, now that I think about it.

SUNDAY

FOX

8-8:30 THE SIMPSONS – Marge reconnects with a group of old friends, which forces Bart into a serious of boring playdates.  Suck it up, Bart.  Your mom needs friends!  Who does she ever talk to anymore?  Luanne Van Houten?  That’s pretty much it! 

8:30-9 BOB’S BURGERS – Series Premiere!  H. Jon Benjamin! Loren Bouchard!  That sounds like a winning formula right there. 

NBC

9-11 THE CAPE – Series Premiere!  Hey, it’s a superhero drama!  You’d think I would be more excited, but this looks kind of terrible.  The costume looks dopey, and it seems to combine the worst elements of Heroes and Smallville.  Also, I have a theory.  See, this is about an ex-cop who’s inspired by comic books to become a superhero.  If you’re establishing a superhero universe, it doesn’t work if the leads are inspired by existing fictional characters.  If you’re creating a world where superheroes exist, it helps if they’re not pre-existed by superhero fiction.  It has to be a completely new concept within that world.  There’s probably a way to do it well, but it really hasn’t happened yet.  That said, I’ll probably still watch at least the pilot.  Because I am weak.

CARTOON NETWORK

9-10 VENTURE BROS. – The Season One repeats continue with “Home Insecurity” and “The Incredible Mr. Brisby”, which includes the first appearances of the Venture Panic Room and Baron Underbheit.  Also, Brock meets Bigfoot.  Interesting note – they’re airing these repeats in the order in which they originally aired, not the order in which they were intended to air.  So while these are the third and fourth episodes according to Adult Swim, they’re intended as the seventh and fifth, respectively.  It’s not a huge issue since they’re mostly standalone episodes, but it pushes the Monarch-heavy episodes until the end of the season, so it’s like he suddenly becomes really important, instead of having a slowly building presence.  Wow, I even bored myself with that.

Ever yours,

Harry Crane

“I can tell life from TV, Jeff.  TV makes sense.  It has structure, logic, rules.  And likeable leading men.  In life, we have this.  We have you.” – Abed Nadi

“Looking at her, I feel like she might be the perfect spooning size for me.” – Ron Swanson

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