| View-Do List: The Schedule is Way Into "Lost", Bro! |
| Written by EJ Feddes |
| Monday, 01 February 2010 07:00 |
 Hi all! I’m glad you’re here, because this schedule covers the week we’ve been waiting for. For eight months, we have held on in anticipation of this moment. That’s right, the final season of Lost premieres this week! I have never been more excited to lose one night of sleep a week!Now, I’ve got months of writing about Lost ahead of me, so I’ll keep it short right now. But I’m watching last season’s finale “The Incident” as I write this. Man, was that ever fantastic. There’s so much I love in that episode, but I think it includes the best scene of 2009 – the bit at the end where Benry confronts Jacob. Michael Emerson is so good here – he’s hurt and confused and he’s rejected for the thousandth time in his life, and despite all the evil stuff he’s done, you can’t not feel sorry for him. And then he goes right ahead and stabs God. If you think you watched anything better than Lost last year, you are wrong.
There are a couple other premieres this week, and also there’s some sort of football game. Or, as they call it in
Here’s what you’ll be watching this week!
“The amount of money I’m going to be making would hurt your parents’ feelings.” – Kenny Powers NBC
8-9 CHUCK – Chuck has to contain a new Intersect, and Awesome is uncomfortable with lying to Ellie. I love Captain Awesome’s expanded role this season, by the way. By the way, I apologize for not noting that last week’s episode featured
9-10 HEROES – Peter tries to rescue Sylar from his own mind, Lauren tries to stop Samuel, and Bennet’s past is revealed. Know why I think this will be a good episode? Claire is not mentioned once in that listing, that’s why.
FOX
8-9 HOUSE – Hey, remember when Orlando Jones was famous? Well, he gets another chance when he shows up to play Foreman’s brother. Meanwhile, the team treats a college football star. What’s got two thumbs and loves House? This guy!
9-10 24 – This week is what I refer to as “The Golden Hour”. And by this, I mean that the timing of the episode matches up with the timeslot, so the onscreen clock is actually correct. This gives me more pleasure than it should.
CBS
8-8:30 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER – Barney tries to have the perfect week. He picked a good week for it, what with the Lost premiere and allco
ABC
8-10 THE BACHELOR: ON THE WINGS OF LOVE – Jake spends a week with the five women in
TNT
10-11 MEN OF A CERTAIN AGE – Joe’s bookie finds out that he used to be a professional golfer, and Snowflake’s family is concerned about his weight. Seriously, nothing made me laugh harder last week than Andre Braugher trying to shoot that dealership commercial.
David Letterman: Bruce Willis, Ne-Yo
Jay Leno: Jessica Alba, John Shuster Conan O'Brien: Gwyneth Paltrow, Joel McHale, John Mayer Trio (R 6/4/09) Jimmy Kimmel: Evangeline Lilly, Caitlin Upton, Katharine McPhee (R 1/14/10) Craig Ferguson: Jim Parsons, They Might Be Giants (R 12/11/09) Jimmy Fallon: Rosario Dawson, Tony Siragusa, New Kids on the Block Carson Daly: Masi Oka, Danny Setiawan, Doves (R 10/30/09) Tavis Smiley: Ed O'Neill, John Yoo Daily Show: Austan Goolsbee Colbert Report: Nicole Detling Miller, Jessica Smith, Harold Ford Jr. Chelsea Lately: Camila Alves, Ben Gleib, Michael Yo, Sarah Colonna Lopez Tonight: Giovanni Ribisi, Jessica Capshaw, Iyaz The View: Mario Cantone, Gayle Haggard Regis and Kelly: Jonathan Rhys Meyers, the new Miss America Ellen DeGeneres: Rihanna Bonnie Hunt: Elizabeth Gilbert, Jane Kaczmarek, Kristin Cavallari TUESDAY
ABC
8-9 LOST: FINAL CHAPTER – A special recap episode catching us up before the season begins. Who do you think is going to narrate this time? I think it’s finally going to be Terry O’Quinn, myself. But then, that’s what you’d expect me to say.
9-11 LOST – Season Premiere! When last we saw the Lostaways, a mortally wounded Juliet was smacking a hydrogen bomb with a rock, Jacob was dead, there were two Lockes, and our cast was scattered through time. You guys, this is going to be awesome!
FOX
8-9 AMERICAN IDOL – The deluded and mentally ill of
9-10 KITCHEN NIGHTMARES – Gordon Ramsay goes all Jersey Shore this week, when he tries to save “Flamango’s”. Which is in
NBC
9-11 THE BIGGEST LOSER – The blue and yellow teams return! That would be more exciting if I knew what that meant. That’s not nearly as exciting as finding out what happened after that hydrogen bomb went off, though.
DISCOVERY
9-10 DIRTY JOBS – Mike finishes concrete countertops, and looks back at some of his scariest dirty jobs. That has to include “Monkey Caretaker”, right? I mean, have you seen that episode? It’s so awesome!
David Letterman: John Travolta, Shaun White, Ben Harper & Relentless7
Jay Leno: Pre-empted Conan O'Brien: Norm Macdonald, Jim Gaffigan, Neko Case (R 6/11/09) Jimmy Kimmel: Damon Lindelof & Carlton Cuse, Lady Antebellum Craig Ferguson: Rosie Perez, Switchfoot (R 1/4/10) Jimmy Fallon: Meredith Vieira, Jesse Tyler Ferguson, Motion City Soundtrack Carson Daly: Emmy Rossum, Zach Hyman, Crocodiles (R 11/13/09) Tavis Smiley: Wyclef Jean Daily Show: Brian Williams Colbert Report: Eliot Spitzer Chelsea Lately: Arden Myrin, Donnell Rawlings, Guy Branum Lopez Tonight: Jon Heder, Russell Peters The View: Ashton Kutcher, Melissa Rivers Regis and Kelly: Vanessa Williams, Jesse Tyler Ferguson Ellen DeGeneres: LL Cool J, Jessica Capshaw Bonnie Hunt: David Arquette WEDNESDAY
FOX
8-9 HUMAN TARGET – This show is kind of growing on me, despite having no connection to the version of The Human Target that I know and love. Mostly, it’s his sidekicks – Jackie Earle Haley and Chi McBride are both pretty hilarious on this show.
9-10 AMERICAN IDOL – It’s the final round of auditions before the
ABC
9-9:30 MODERN FAMILY – Claire feels inadequate, and Mitchell tries to help Gloria with some legal issues. That’s a pairing we haven’t really seen on this show, and I’m kind of excited about it. Also, we should assume that Phil will do something hilarious.
FX
10-11 NIP/TUCK – It’s getting close to the end of the series, so that means Escobar Gallardo has to make a comeback. Of course, he was killed back in 2003, so that complicates things a little. Regardless, that crazy tattooed guy is always fun.
David Letterman: Sarah Silverman, Jeremy Renner, Nneka, a Top Ten List presented by Paris Hilton
Jay Leno: Jessica Biel, Jimmy Fallon Jimmy Kimmel: Dr. Phil McGraw, Nick Jonas, Demetri Martin Craig Ferguson: Jason Segel (R 1/8/10) Jimmy Fallon: Jessica Alba, Josh Topolsky, Harper Simon Carson Daly: David Plouffe, Jeret "Speedy" Peterson, Metric (R 11/18/09) Tavis Smiley: Bill Withers, Sen. John Cornyn Daily Show: Atul Gawande Colbert Report: Peter Cove, John Durant Chelsea Lately: Shorty Rossi, Joe DeRosa, Heather McDonald, Josh Wolf Lopez Tonight: Billy Zane, Brandon T. Johnson, Fabolous The View: Gabourey Sidibe, Andrew Young Regis and Kelly: Jessica Alba, Channing Tatum Ellen DeGeneres: Ellen Pompeo Bonnie Hunt: Elisha Cuthbert, Sterling Knight, George Wallace THURSDAY
NBC
8-8:30 COMMUNITY – Jeff gets overly competitive with pottery, which should be enough for an episode right there. But we also have Pierce taking the rest of the study group along for a ride at his boating class. You just know he’s going to knot a sweater around his neck.
8:
9-9:30 THE OFFICE – Michael has a hard time dealing with Dunder Mifflin’s new owner, while the relationship between Andy and Erin just keeps getting both sadder and more adorable.
9:30-10 30 ROCK – Jan Hooks guest-stars as Jenna’s mother. Also, Liz and Frank help each other kick their bad habits. Man, if you take away Frank’s bad habits, what’s left?
FOX
9-10 FRINGE – Remember how they stopped mentioning the parallel universe? Well, this week, an office building from that universe merges with a building from our own, with gruesome results. The preview shows two people phased into one another, which is kind of awesome.
ABC
9-10 GREY’S ANATOMY – A patient wakes up from anesthesia during surgery. You know, that could be either hilarious or horrifying. Let’s see how they let this one play out.
FX
10-10:30 ARCHER – Archer has to employ his seduction skills to retrieve a sensitive video tape. Oh, also, he has to seduce a dude. This is going to be offensive on all levels, and thus, awesome.
COMEDY CENTRAL
10-10:30 IMPORTANT THINGS – Season Premiere! Demetri Martin’s show had its moments last season, but on the whole, it was a little disappointing. Here’s hoping it gets a little more even this year.
10:30-11 THE SARAH SILVERMAN PROGRAM – Season Premiere! Sarah comes to believe that she was born with male and female genitalia. I love this show. Did you know it’s been 14 months since the last episode? I am not happy about this. Also not happy about this? Sarah Silverman.
LIFETIME
10-11 PROJECT RUNWAY – We all agree that this season is much better than last season, right? I am not happy that they’ve moved the model selection to the spinoff, Models of the Runway. I refuse to watch that show, so I feel like I’m missing content. But we’re still friends.
10-11 BURN NOTICE – Michael’s drug-dealing former neighbor returns and he needs some help. Probably the kind of help that requires violence, though, and not addiction counseling. That would make for a much more boring episode.
David Letterman: Jamie Foxx, Amanda Seyfried, Robin Thicke
Jay Leno: Wanda Sykes, Evan Lysacek Conan O'Brien: Adam Sandler, Peter Sarsgaard, Kate Voegele (R 7/20/09) Jimmy Kimmel: Eric Dane, Kourtney Kardashian, the Bravery Craig Ferguson: Chris Kattan, Tina Brown Jimmy Fallon: Channing Tatum, Aubrey Plaza, Hot Chip Carson Daly: Bill Simmons, Dmitriy Salita, the Raveonettes (R 11/19/09) Tavis Smiley: Franklin McCain, Joe Scarborough Daily Show: Rep. Anthony Weiner Colbert Report: Henry Louis Gates Chelsea Lately: Wil Anderson, Dan Levy, Brad Wollack Lopez Tonight: Christian Slater, Alessandra Torresani, Matt Morris The View: Sarah Silverman, guest co-host Meghan McCain Regis and Kelly: John Travolta Ellen DeGeneres: Heidi Klum, juggler Anthony Gatto Bonnie Hunt: TBA FRIDAY
CARTOON NETWORK
7:30-8 BATMAN: THE BRAVE AND THE BOLD – This week’s guest? Firestorm! I am automatically predisposed to like anybody whose head is on fire.
SYFY
9-10 CAPRICA – I am undecided on this show. By which I mean, I didn’t like the first episode and I haven’t watched the second episode yet. What do you think? Should I be watching this? That’s right, I’m letting the public make decisions for me.
David Letterman: Jack Hanna, Joe Wong, the Swell Season
Jay Leno: Bill Maher, Gretchen Bleiler Conan O'Brien: Rachel McAdams, Mindy Kaling, Diane Birch (R 12/4/09) Jimmy Kimmel: Ozzy Osbourne, Barry Manilow Craig Ferguson: Claire Danes, Jill Scott Jimmy Fallon: Brian Williams, Amanda Seyfried, Sean Patton Carson Daly: Morena Baccarin, Lingerie Football, Lisa Hannigan (R 11/20/09) Tavis Smiley: Patti Smith Chelsea Lately: Dax Shepard, Ross Mathews, Jen Kirkman, Matt Braunger (R 1/27/10) The View: Jamie Foxx, Amanda Seyfried Regis and Kelly: Pierce Brosnan, Robin Thicke Ellen DeGeneres: Ozzy, Sharon, Jack & Kelly Osbourne, Chef Roberto Martin Bonnie Hunt: Lily Tomlin, Kelly Cutrone SATURDAY
NBC
SUNDAY
CBS
7-10 THE SUPER BOWL – Here’s a fact: The New Orleans Saints make their first Super Bowl appearance, which means the club of eternally hapless teams just got smaller. The Lions are getting lonely. And that is all I know about sports.
10-11 UNDERCOVER BOSS – Series Premiere! Yeah, the prime post-Super Bowl spot is going to this reality show with a deeply stupid concept. Man, CBS is just rubbing it in right now.
ANIMAL PLANET
7-9 PUPPY BOWL VI – What do I have to say? It is two hours of puppies playing on a mat that looks like a football field. Unless you own a baby penguin who made you a birthday card out of macaroni, you will not see anything cuter this week.
CARTOON NETWORK
Ever yours,
Richard “Batmanuel” Alpert
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