| View-Do List: Schedule, Rotated to 108 Degrees (Mar 1-7) |
| Written by EJ Feddes |
| Monday, 01 March 2010 05:00 |
In happy TV news, FX has renewed Archer for a second season. As a man who belongs to no fewer than five Archer-related groups on Facebook (including one devoted solely to the occasional Johnny Bench references), this brings my great joy. Now, let’s see if we can get Better Off Ted renewed, TV Gods! Yes, I said “Gods”. I assume that TV is pantheistic. Specifically that pantheon includes, but is not limited to, celestial versions of David Milch, Brock Samson, John Locke, and Tom Servo. Sometimes, they demand a sacrifice… Hey, the Oscars are on this Sunday! There are a bunch of movies that I loved up for big awards this year. That said, if Avatar wins Best Picture, I will punch a baby. Am I serious? Maybe, but are you willing to take that chance? Think of the children! MONDAY
NBC
8-9 CHUCK – Chuck goes undercover as a dangerous assassin, and I’m not entirely certain he’s going to be able to pull that off. Also, Sarah and Former Superman get even closer, and break all of our hearts some more.
CBS
8-8:30 HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER – Carrie Underwood guest-stars, which I guess puts an end to my long streak of not acknowledging that Carrie Underwood exists. But I can still avoid Taylor Hicks, right?
ABC
8-11 THE BACHELOR – Season Finale! Pilot Jake makes his final decision. For Joel McHale’s sake, I hope he picks the cross-eyed girl. Also, they’ll be revealing the new cast of Dancing with the Stars, and that’s the kind of thing that gets my attention.
FOX
9-10 24 – Jack closes in on a person of interest. You know, last week I complained that we were getting too much of characters I don’t care about, and not enough Jack. And last week was the most Jack-free episode ever. I’m starting to think I don’t have any power after all…
*** all Late Night listings are lovingly copy & pasted from Talk Show News ***
David Letterman: Bill Murray, Ludacris
Jay Leno : Jamie Foxx, Lindsey Vonn, Brad Paisley Jimmy Kimmel : A new cast member from "Dancing with the Stars", the new "Bachelorette", Josh Turner Craig Ferguson : Lauren Graham, Simon Helberg Jimmy Fallon : Robert Pattinson, Judah Friedlander Carson Daly : Eli Roth, Daniel Merriweather Tavis Smiley : Jim Parsons Daily Show : Neil DeGrasse Tyson Colbert Report : Don Cheadle Chelsea Lately : Seann William Scott, Chris Hardwick, Randy Sklar, Jason Sklar Lopez Tonight : Dax Shepard, Nicole Eggert, New Boyz The View : Nathan Fillion Regis and Kelly : Chris O'Donnell, Carrie Ann Inaba Ellen DeGeneres : David Spade, Daniel Merriweather Bonnie Hunt : Dax Shepard, Roselyn Sanchez “You know, maybe if you ate more comfort food, you wouldn’t have to go around shooting people.” – Hugo “Hurley” Reyes TUESDAY
FOX
8-10 AMERICAN IDOL – The Top 10 Female Semifinalists perform, and probably run long because nobody involved has any idea how to stick to a schedule. You know who should replace Simon? Tom Bergeron of Dancing with the Stars. That’s a guy who knows how to end a live performance show on time.
ABC
9-10 LOST – They promoted this episode by saying that they couldn’t tell us anything about the episode. I believe that puts this one firmly in the “Awesome” camp. I don’t know how they’re going to top the fact that we actually got to see Jacob’s list or the introduction of Pelt Baby, though.
NBC
10-11 PARENTHOOD – Series Premiere! So this is the second attempt at a series based on the 1989 movie Parenthood. Was that movie so influential that it’s being resurrected 21 years later? I don’t get it. However, the cast includes Lauren Graham of Gilmore Girls, so I will definitely be watching it.
David Letterman: Mitt Romney, Mia Wasikowska
Jay Leno : Sarah Palin, Shaun White, Adam Lambert Jimmy Kimmel : Anne Hathaway, Jesse Williams, Tom Colicchio, Jonny Lang Craig Ferguson : Steven Wright, Mitch Albom Jimmy Fallon : Wesley Snipes, Emilie de Ravin, Ludacris Carson Daly : Giovanni Ribisi, Phoenix Tavis Smiley : Angelique Kidjo Daily Show : Robert Pattinson Colbert Report : David Brooks Chelsea Lately : Kendra & Hank Baskett, Jo Koy, Michael Yo, Sarah Colonna Lopez Tonight : Tracey Ullman, Bret Michaels The View : Robert Pattinson, Emilie de Ravin, Mitt Romney Regis and Kelly : Johnny Weir, "Bachelor" Jake Pavelka, Lifehouse Ellen DeGeneres : Lauren Graham, Lindsey Vonn Bonnie Hunt : Alison Sweeney, Bryan Greenberg, Ken Robinson WEDNESDAY
FOX
8-10 The Top 10 Male Semifinalists perform. But in a new twist, they perform open-heart surgery! Man, I would watch the heck out of that show.
ABC
9-9:30 MODERN FAMILY – Phil has to go under the house, which is always nightmare fuel. Also, Mitchell and Cameron invite Lily’s pediatrician over for brunch. Oh, is this the Asian woman? Five bucks says
FX
10-11 NIP/TUCK – Series Finale! According to the description, Sean and Christian reflect on their relationship in this final episode. If that turns out to be a clip show, I’m going to freak out. Farewell, McNamara/Troy! You sleazed up my TV for seven years, and I will always love you for it.
David Letterman: Jerry Seinfeld, Tom Brokaw
Jay Leno : "Jaywalk All-Stars" with the cast of "Jersey Shore", Chelsea Handler, Apolo Anton Ohno, Avril Lavigne Jimmy Kimmel : Ethan Hawke, Manny Pacquiao, Jet Craig Ferguson : Michael Sheen, Amy Ryan Jimmy Fallon : Erykah Badu Carson Daly : Jeremy Renner Tavis Smiley : Ethan Hawke, Queen Latifah Daily Show : Scott Patterson Colbert Report : Garry Wills Chelsea Lately : Heather McDonald, Matt Braunger, Moshe Kasher Lopez Tonight : Mario Lopez, T-Pain, Anjelah Johnson The View : Lisa Kudrow Regis and Kelly : Heidi Klum, Corinne Bailey Rae Ellen DeGeneres : Courteney Cox Bonnie Hunt : Mark Ruffalo, Beverly D'Angelo THURSDAY
NBC
8-8:30 COMMUNITY – Abed tries to woo a potential mate. I feel like that’s exactly how he’ll describe it, too. Also, Jeff’s will is tested in billiards class. Is that seriously a real class? Ah, who am I to talk? I took “Walking” for college credit. I had to keep a walking journal and everything.
8:
9-10 THE OFFICE – It’s the baby episode! Please note, Pam and Jim’s baby will almost certainly be adorable and will be exempt from my baby-punching pledge mentioned above. Also, Andy is jealous when
FOX
8-9 AMERICAN IDOL – Four contestants are released into the wild.
9-10 KITCHEN NIGHTMARES – Gordon tries to save a failing Italian restaurant. You know, I think they have more Italian restaurants on this show than any other type. But they almost never have Italian restaurants on the British version. Weird, right?
CBS
8-9 SURVIVOR – You guys, the Jerri/Coach flirting is seriously the grossest thing on TV, right? I mean, I sat through Jin’s mangled leg on Lost last week, but I still have to leave the room when those two start talking.
ABC
9-10 GREY’S ANATOMY – A surgeon is rushed to the hospital. Because they’re injured, or because they’re late for work? One is definitely more dramatic than the other, so they should be specific.
BRAVO
9-11 PROJECT RUNWAY – OK, this is weird. There was no new episode last week, and then there are two new episodes this week. However, the one that airs at 9 is not scheduled to be repeated in the next seven days, while the
FX
10-10:30 ARCHER – Archer and Lana try to steal a priceless diamond from ODIN, after losing yet another contract. ODIN – what a bunch of losers. What’s that stand for anyway…. Wait, I had something for this… That’s right, my Archer write-ups are just going to be me quoting the show. Johnny Bench called.
10-11 BURN NOTICE – Season Finale! A terrorist threatens to detonate a bomb in
David Letterman: Tom Hanks, Spoon
Jay Leno : Brett Favre, Matthew McConaughey, Jason Reitman Jimmy Kimmel : Queen Latifah, "Bachelor" Jake Pavelka, Galactic Craig Ferguson : Garry Shandling, Sonya Walger Jimmy Fallon : Zach Galifianakis, Mia Wasikowska, Silversun Pickups Carson Daly : Joel David Moore, Fanfarlo Tavis Smiley : Oscar Preview Colbert Report : Barry Schwartz Chelsea Lately : Ross Mathews, Christina Pazsitzky, Guy Branum Lopez Tonight : Shaun White, Seann William Scott, Andrew Dice Clay The View : Abigail Breslin, the Broadway cast of "Fela!", guest co-host Valerie Bertinelli Regis and Kelly : Tom Brokaw, Tom Hanks Ellen DeGeneres : Simon Baker, "Bachelor" Jake Pavelka & the woman he chose, Jason Derulo Bonnie Hunt : Mark Harmon, "The Bachelor" runner-up, Daniel Capellaro FRIDAY
9-9:30 THE RICKY GERVAIS SHOW – The guys discuss giving goats as charitable gifts, space flight, and super powers. And I’m going to assume that there will be Monkey News. Oh, also Karl discusses the idea of aging backward. You just know he thought Benjamin Button was documentary.
David Letterman: Matt Damon, Danny Bhoy, Corinne Bailey Rae
Jay Leno : Morgan Freeman, Meredith Vieira Jimmy Kimmel : Paul Bettany, "Bachelor" Jake Pavelka, Pearl (R 1/20/10) Craig Ferguson : Dax Shepard, Regina Spektor Carson Daly : TBA Tavis Smiley : Wesley Snipes, Antoine Fuqua Chelsea Lately : Radha Mitchell, John Caparulo, Bill Bellamy, Arden Myrin (R 2/24/10) The View : Wesley Snipes, Don Cheadle, Michael Phillips & A.O. Scott Regis and Kelly : Leighton Meester, guest co-host Anderson Cooper Ellen DeGeneres : Lenny Kravitz, Evan Lysacek Bonnie Hunt : Amy Ryan, "Bachelor" Jake Pavelka, Nick Kroll SATURDAY
NBC
SUNDAY
CBS
8-9 AMAZING RACE – There’s no information available, so I’m going to go out on a limb and guess that the cowboys will reference the fact that they are cowboys every time they speak on camera. I know, it’s a bold prediction.
ABC
Ever yours,
The Real Roxanne
“Uh hello, planes? It’s blimps. You win.” – Sterling Archer
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