Well, I’m certainly not going to read! (aka: What to watch during the writers’ strike)

The time we’ve all be dreading is almost here. Pretty soon, the networks are going to run out of original episodes of just about everything and, with a few minor exceptions, the airwaves will soon be flooded with some of the most tired and brainless programming imaginable. (Crowned: The Mother of All Pageants, anyone? Matt Roush of TV Guide has put together a sobering missive on the subject.) Sure, some of us still worship Idol and others appreciate the sometimes stupefying yet crazy addictive Big Brother, but we’ll still have plenty of spare time if this strike drags on.

To help you in your hour of need, I’ve come up with a trio of DVD sets that will get any discerning TV viewer through this dark time.

The Ben Stiller Show (1992) This is a 13-episode gem of a sketch show starring Stiller and created by the current King of Movie Comedy, Judd Apatow. The show, which was famously neglected by FOX despite critical acclaim, also features Janeane Garofolo, Andy Dick and Bob Odenkirk (Mr. Show). The bulk of each 30 minute outing was spent on parodies of TV, movies and personalities, with standouts including “The Grungies” (think The Monkees in ’90s Seattle), “Ask Manson”, and “Melrose Heights 90210-2402? which perfectly sent up the teen and young adult dramas that were the bread and butter of FOX’s lineup at the time.

There were also some really random cameos: Sarah Jessica Parker, Roseanne and Tom Arnold, Garry Shandling, Gary Coleman, Herve Villechez, Flea, Colin Quinn and Casey Kasem. Not every sketch is a home run, but it’s a riot just to see some of this stuff from a nostalgia angle and wonder what might have been. It’s not like this show getting cancelled has really hurt Ben Stiller in the long run, but maybe Andy Dick and Janeane Garofolo wouldn’t be as annoying as they are today if things had worked out differently.

The Joe Schmo Show (2003) Spike TV, which is best known for running Bond Marathons and Dukes of Hazard reruns, had a stroke of genius with this absolutely brilliant spoof of the reality genre. The central conceit is that the poor schlub of the title, Joe Schmo (aka Matt Kennedy Gould), thinks he’s been cast on a reality show called Lap of Luxury. In actuality, he’s the only one who thinks that, as the rest of the “competitors” are actors, playing characters designed to represent reality show “types”, such as “the gay guy”, “the grizzled veteran”, “the virgin”, “the schemer” and “the asshole” (who is clearly modeled on the King of all reality show a-holes, Puck from The Real World).

The real beauty of the show is in the details, like the ridiculous competitions that everyone unquestioningly participates in (like “Hands on a Hooker’), the pompous host who takes himself way too seriously (at one point, he gives the cast his head shots), and the “Riches to Rags” eviction ceremony at the end of each episode wherein the evictee’s commemorative plate (complete with a stunning likeness) is thrown into a roaring fireplace and destroyed. There is an underlying sweetness to the whole thing, as the cast admits that they were surprised at how they grew to care for Matt during the shoot and were nervous about revealing the deception of it all when the time came to do so. And the reveal, in episode 8, is a doozy. Look for current SNL up-and-comer Kristen Wiig as “Dr. Pat”, a divorced marriage counselor who uses puppets to help Matt work through a problem early on. There was a second season of the show that was designed to look more like a Bachelor/Bachelorette spoof and it was also hillarious, but I don’t know if it was ever released on DVD.

Freaks and Geeks (1999-2000) This is another Apatow creation, and it will go down as one of the most mishandled series in the history of network TV (granted, it’s a long list). There is no way there should only be 18 episodes of this wonderfully sweet, genuine, funny and moving comedy/drama. But, since that’s all there is, and there ain’t no more, I tend to watch it like an 18-hour movie. The show is set in 1980 in Michigan, but it could be set anytime, anywhere. The time period is just an added bonus for those of us that remember it fondly. The central character is Lindsay Weir, an extremely bright but somewhat confused sophomore at McKinley High who doesn’t really know if she’s still a ‘Mathlete’ or a ‘Freak’ (which at my school were known as burnouts). Lindsay’s brother Sam is a freshman who, with his best friends Sam and Bill, represent the “Geeks” of the title. The other characters, from the rest of Sam and Lindsay’s friends, to their parents and teachers, are both written and cast in such a way that I defy anyone not to see a little (or a lot) of their own high school experience represented in one or more of them. The show even won a Best Casting Emmy for their efforts. Look closely and you’ll see about half the cast of Knocked Up (Seth Rogen, Jason Segal, Martin Starr), a Spider Man villian (James Franco) and an SCTV Legend (Joe Flaherty). The star power combined here, both in front of the camera and behind the scenes, is tremendous. And F & G was clearly a labor of love for all involved. It shows in the DVD set, which features a complete guide to the series, multiple commentary tracks on every episode, audition tapes, bloopers and all of the perfectly selected original music, which in and of itself is no small feat (I also own the show’s soundtrack, which is outstanding). If you’re a dork like me you’ll spot guest appearances from Jason Schwartzman, David Krumholtz, Shia LeBeouf, Ben Stiller and numerous others. I could go on and on about this one. Just get the set, and watch it from start to finish. You can thank me later.

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